Heart of Ice
by Tinki-chan
Summary: *CH 4 UP* Lily has sunk into a strange depression after what has happened to her. Who will help her now?
1. Dark Invitation

Summary: Lily Evans came from a screwed up family and when she first received the letter from Hogwarts, the first pair of wizards she meet are no other than Lucius and Severus! How is Voldemort involved in this and why do James despise her to the very last cell?  
  
Rating: PG13 for excessive emotional pain, and violence (though not that much)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't any thing except the idea of this story.  
  
  
  
A/N: Hello, this is my very first HP fic, so please support it! There's a few things that must be mentioned before you read the story and I do hope you are reading this before you flame me.  
  
First of all, the beginning is a bit REPETITIVE. At the beginning, I've had a few head starts and there are a few of them that I liked, so I sort of added them together. Secondly, I'm not very good at writing so bear with me. Thirdly, this story is supposedly trying hard to follow the books, therefore since the fifth one is coming out soon, I might do a lot of revising on the ideas.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Heart of Ice  
  
  
  
Part 1 - Dark Invitation  
  
  
  
Everyone has contradicting opinions sometimes, but Lily Evans' problem is a major one. She loves her family, yet at the same time she hates them. Ever since her birth, her parents have been fussing over her and treating her like a time bomb, leaving no thoughts for Petunia, who is her 15 years old sister.  
  
Want an example?  
  
"Lily, you don't eat enough dear, here have more of this."  
  
"No, no, Lily is quite full, aren't you dear?"  
  
"She obviously hasn't eaten enough, look at her, she's too thin!"  
  
"Exactly, the perfect form! You don't want her to gain too much weight eating that, now do you?"  
  
etc.  
  
So much for a family outing meal.  
  
Lily's parents constantly fought over her, quite heatedly too, something she never quite liked. She can make her own choices, thank you very much. However, the two 'knowledgeable' adults wouldn't hear of it, to them she's simply too young to make the right decisions.  
  
Fortunately or unfortunately, her parents work abroad, leaving the older daughter to look after their precious darling little flower.  
  
  
  
Not the best thing to happen, I'm afraid.  
  
When the couple departs, Lily's room became Petunia's and the cupboard under the stairs became Lily's. Sounds familiar?  
  
Petunia for one, gave Lily all of her attentions when their parents are gone. Jealousy, Lily thought it was, the cause for all the abuse she received while the adults were away. She often received beatings from a stick that's about an inch thick and a foot long because of little things like Lily not waking up early enough to make her breakfast when she wakes up and come down stairs. Not the most pleasant feeling in the world.  
  
With this much hate and violence going around in the household, Lily became quite sharp and observant and developed a talent for avoiding troubles. Sometimes she would even manage to get outside to play with the neighbours. Well, that was in the past. The Evans lives in a small cottage, quite a distance from the urban areas of the region. Behind the petite houses, there inhabited a large forest, about half the size of the forbidden forest. Lily would play with another child often in that forest, until something happened and the neighbours moved away. Quite depressing, since they were the only neighbours they've ever had if you don't count the ones a couple of miles down the road. That was a fact that Lily rather forget, because not only was the whole thing her fault, something horrible came out of it as well.  
  
Unfortunately, now her only friend is her diary, which she wrote in everyday, recording every single detail about her life.  
  
" YOU'RE A HORRIBLE FREAK!!! I HOPE THAT YOU'LL DIE SOON!"  
  
Lily Evans, a girl ten years of age, held her red tender right cheek her 15 years old sister Petunia just slapped. After receiving such abusive treatment, the older girl simply dragged her to the cupboard and locked her in.  
  
Petunia is never one to like the younger sibling, she stole her place in her parents' heart and they left her in the cold. Of course it never did help, the fact that her parents work abroad. Personally, she didn't really mind the favouritism, but it was because of Lily that Mr. And Mrs. Evans fought each other so much.  
  
The moment that Lily was born, Petunia was sure that their parents began to argue about Lily's everything. She doesn't want to eat that; it's not sweet enough! Stop talking rubbish; she's a baby who prefers more healthy foods! Get that toy for Lily! No, that other one would suit her better! Things like that. It's gotten to the point where they will throw breakable objects at each other and scream their lungs out.  
  
Petunia hated that, and she blamed everything to Lily.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily held herself together, curled into a ball inside the cupboard, which her sister just locked her in. It's one of those nights in which their parents are working abroad, leaving only her and Petunia in their little house.  
  
Tonight has been all right, she thought, compared to other nights. She's only received a slap and many chores and orders. Yes, definitely a change of routines from other nights. In other days, she would be the anger releaser that belonged to her nosy sister and would often receive harsher hits and kicks while forced to go through the day without any food. Not that she's got any decent ones on any days without her parents anyway.  
  
The blame can't be put on her sister though; Lily knew perfectly well why her sister hated her so much. She's always been the centre of attention in her parents' eyes and the reason of argument. She hated those conflicts as much as Petunia, but she has no say in it. They simply ignore her.  
  
' I hope I will never grow up to be like them,' Lily thought while rubbing her aching cheek.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
  
Standing outside in a meadow full of unfamiliar scenery, Lily Evans, a petit dark red head, walks down the path holding what supposed to be a map that would lead her to the Malfoys. Her luggage is supposedly already there, how? She doesn't know.  
  
Upon receiving her Hogwarts letter of acceptance on her eleventh birthday, her mother delightfully informed her that she will spend her coming summer holidays in the old wizarding family; the Malfoys. Why? She doesn't even know them! But her mother said nothing. She knows that her parents are hiding something from her, but she guess it's not her business. Even if she cared, they wouldn't tell her anyway.  
  
Now walking down a path uncertainly, Lily took in the sight around her. Apparently the Malfoys lived in a rural area, what with the fields after fields of green wild meadows, never ending forests of trees with the sky happily shining the colour of light blue. It's a shame people don't find happiness in simple things anymore, all caught up in the fast working technological world.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she discovered her liking for fresh oxygen. Closing her eyes, she pranced slightly down the trail.  
  
"Enjoying yourself, miss?"  
  
Lily whipped around and found herself starring at two boys around her age, standing underneath the shades of a giant oak tree, leaning. One had light blonde hair which is pulled back using unmistakably hair gel with narrow eyes so blue that match that of the sky. The boy has a sarcastic expression on his pale complexion that made him looked adorable. The other one however, held a neutral expression and crossed his arms. Wearing black robes complimented by his dark greasy hair and eyes, he looked one not to be messed with.  
  
However, they both seemed to have this dark aura. no, evil is more like it, that surrounds them. Shaking her head, she smiled politely and answered the strangers.  
  
"Oh yes, it's a lovely day. Um. if you don't mind, may I ask where the Malfoy residence is? I seem to have gotten lost." Speaking the truth, Lily looked expectantly at the boys.  
  
The blonde one smirked, "I'm Lucius Malfoy, and this is Severus Snape," Lucius said, nodding towards Snape, "We are your escorts to my residence as we figure you might be lost."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I can't believe it, our master is actually letting a muggle-born live in my mansion!" Malfoy complained while he and Snape walked in front of Lily, leading the way with a few distance between them.  
  
" He has his reasons for her to be near, all YOU need to worry about is to follow his orders without making such a fuss." The reply succeeded in shutting Malfoy up for the rest of the journey to the mansion with Lily trailing behind quietly thinking about something.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Malfoy's mansion is huge, and that is the understatement of the century in Lily's opinion. Interested to learn more about her to-be residence for the next two months, she wondered around in the Entrance Hall, or the so-called 'foyer'. Personally, Lily believes that the Entrance Hall is for scaring off unwanted visitors. The whole room is filled with giant golden pillars with torches hanging from them, dark shadows lurking everywhere as if the sun never existed. The ground and the walls are built of bricks, looking like as if they will collapse within seconds of their approach.  
  
However, the one thing that frightens the most is a huge painting, hung just across the front doors. The subject was of a man. or so she thought, in a dark green cloak with his hood on so the pale face was out of sight. The background consists of only blackness and it blurs the outlines of the man so it made him look like he's fading into darkness.  
  
This painting gives her the creeps.  
  
' Chooooosssse meeee...'  
  
'What was that?' Lily spun around and found herself starring into nothing, not the best thing to happen. If she thought she was freaked before, she's now right down scared. Due to popular belief, hearing voices is not a good thing, even if you're not a parseltongue. not that Lily knows what that is anyway.  
  
"HEY!" Lily jumped and looked into the face of Lucius, " Dobby's ready to take you to your room." He said, revealing a tiny creature behind him.  
  
The pale brownish creature has two big ears with enormous blue eyes and a very long nose. It's clothes consisted of a tea towel and nothing else, quite peculiar in the eyes of a muggle girl.  
  
"I is called Dobby, miss. Dobby is a house elf, miss. I is to lead miss to her bedroom." The house elf that called himself Dobby gestured Lily to follow him and off they went in search of Lily's to-be 'bedroom', the incident of the voice not forgotten, but stored in the back of her head.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
'Second understatement of the century,' thought Lily Evans, ' calling this a 'room'.'. Clearly, instead of the cuddly pink fuzzy bedroom the petite red haired girl had expected, the 'room' turned out to be an enormous chamber, and I mean BIG. The walls are painted emerald green with black trimmings; the king-sized bed is in the colour of the night sky decorated with gold sparkling stars. More incredibly is that her luggage is here already! It's like magic!  
  
Impressed with the set up, Lily walked around, her eyes drinking hungrily in at the sight. Turning around once more to ask Dobby if the Malfoy family has always been that generous with guests, she abruptly stopped when she found out that she was looking at someone else.  
  
The little thing is definitely a house elf, for it has two enormous eyes and a long nose while wearing the similar tea towel. The only difference, however, is that this one has small granny glasses and deep chocolate brown eyes instead of blue. Also, it's a female. or so she thought. If house elves have genders that is.  
  
"I is called Tilly, miss," the house elf answered the unasked question. "I is here to recite the rules for miss." After that statement, Lily realized that Tilly was holding a scroll. a pretty long one at that.  
  
" Number one: never.." And Lily drift off lying on her king-sized bed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily was awoken to the shaking caused by Tilly. Apparently, the little house elf's attempts aren't futile. "Tilly has finished, miss. All three hundred and eighty of them!" Tilly seems to be very proud of herself for completing such a task.  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Lily got up and straightened her hair just in time to see a boy around the age of sixteen or seventeen enter.  
  
"Good evening, miss Evans. I am here to escort you to the Dinning Hall, as it is time for supper. I will be awaiting outside while you prepare."  
  
Tilly, Lily noted, was starring intently at the young man, it almost seemed that she is. suspicious.  
  
"But what will I wear?" Lily wondered to herself out loud as the door was closed.  
  
"In here! In here!" Tilly exclaimed, holding the dresser open. To Lily's astonishment, not only were her clothes here (which is not a lot because of Petunia), there are also piles and piles of dress robes and even muggle wear!  
  
Over the next half hour, Tilly helped Lily do her hair in to two braids tied together and picked out a dress robe that's black and emerald green, the colour of her room. It appears that most of the dress robes provided are all in dark colours. Nothing seems more cheery.  
  
' That boy. he has blood red eyes. It's kind of scary. but I guess I'm not suppose to judge a person by appearance.' Casually walking out of her chamber, Lily apologized for the young man's wait.  
  
"No problem." Was the simple answer with a smile? Lily noticed too that the boy was starring at Tilly with suspicion. How peculiar.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
" So, um. may I ask for your name please?" Lily asked timidly, trailing behind the unknown boy. On closer inspection, Lily found that he had dark neat hair, quite a handsome face, wearing a red vest that complimented his eyes with a loose white shirt and trousers. Underneath the dimmed light of the castle, it sort of gave him a dark green aura.  
  
"I'm sorry, I forgot to introduce myself. My name is Tom Riddle, a current resident such as yourself."  
  
"Oh." That was lame. The awkward silence is killing her, making her uncomfortable, but she doesn't know what to say to a stranger.  
  
"So tell me, miss Evans."  
  
"You can call me Lily,"  
  
"Alright. So Lily, what brings you here to this mansion?" Sensing her discomfort, Tom started a nice conversation. Lily is starting to like this guy; he's sharp, for one thing.  
  
"Um." She has no idea what to say, after all, her parents gave no further detail on the reason she is here. "Well, my parents and Lucius's parents are business partners and they were good friends too so they thought they'd send me here to get to know Lucius." Good job, Lily. That was a lame yet valid and believable lie.  
  
"You don't have to lie, you didn't really need to tell me if you don't want to tell." Tom said with a warm smile.  
  
That was a big stab of guilt right through the heart. Ouch.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't know what to say," Lily replied. "So what about you? Why are you here in Lucius' residence?"  
  
"You'll know soon enough."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well, I hope Severus and Lucius won't be mad, it's been one hour already. They're probably starving." Yes, a nice change of topics.  
  
"Oh don't worry about that, I'll make sure they won't." Isn't that a bit forceful? Everyone's allowed to have his or her opinions and express it? The situation's a bit like hers with Petunia.  
  
"You must be their guardian or a close relation in order to have that kind of power over them." Judging by the shocked face of Tom, Lily supposes that her statement was a big pang in the heart.  
  
'She's really sharp, I'll have to be careful.' Riddle thought as Lily apologized for her rudeness. ' Heh, of course she is.. But that's a reassurance; it's a good thing that she's living up to the rumours.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the dark corners of the corridors inside the mansion, a little house elf by the name of Tilly crept along until she found the room she's looking for on the top stairs, third door. Inside the room glowed the light of a fire merrily burning in the fireplace across the doors. A large Prussian carpet spread around the floors and cobwebs conquered the corners of the ceiling as well as certain parts of the walls. Apparently this room is for nothing at all; there are so many rooms in this mansion that such a place is common.  
  
Taking out a miniature watch, she muttered a ' he's late' and transformed. Slowly, the shadows of the house elf became a woman's. The woman is wearing a maroon gown with white laces. Her long blonde hair was tied into a tight bun behind her head and she has the features of a middle- aged person.  
  
"MAMA!!" cried a voice from the fireplace.  
  
The addressed woman sat down by the fireplace and inquired, " James, where's your father?" Suddenly, the messy haired boy was playfully pushed out of sight and was replaced by a middle-aged man with the same messy dark hair with glasses.  
  
"It's nice to see you again," said the man, the apparent father of James.  
  
"Yes well, it's nice to see you too."  
  
"Ok, down to business. How's the girl?" Mr. Potter inquired.  
  
"Give me a break, she just got here today! But I can tell you that she definitely has a heart of ice. Completely distant, sharp yet polite within the fifteen minutes of conversation."  
  
"In other words, a hard cookie to break."  
  
"Exactly, but you should know that."  
  
"Yea, I know. But our Jamsie Wamsie will be in the same year as she so there'll be no problem! He can simply charm her with our 'Potter' charms!" The man gave a hearty laugh.  
  
"Yea right. as long as he doesn't scare her away with you and your 'Potter' boldness heritage too."  
  
"Oh, and also, she has gotten acquainted with a boy named Tom Riddle, do you per change know who he is?"  
  
"Never heard of him,"  
  
"hmmm."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In a dark corner of the room just out of range from the couple's view, a cloaked figure stood, watching the events with the Potters unfold.  
  
' heh. so now the Potters are involved.. Excellent.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"It is one, ONE FRICKIN' HOUR ALREADY! WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?"  
  
Hitting the table with his fist, the blonde boy by the name of Lucius screamed at no one in particular, but unfortunately Severus the bystander, in this case sitting across him has to bear with Lucius' loud complaints. Finally, he had enough.  
  
"Such disgraceful act from the son of the Malfoy's family. You ARE a shame to your ancestors. Tsk, such impatience. heh." Snape sneered.  
  
Catching the insult, Lucius turned around and faced his partner, " You know, you act completely different when you're away from the girl and our Master."  
  
" That's because I do what I was told, unlike YOU. huh, I guess an idiot will always be an idiot." Flaring up with anger, Malfoy pound the table hard and glared at his greasy haired partner.  
  
"You picking a fight with me?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Talking and laughing down the dark hallways, Lily and Tom headed slowly towards the dinning room. That is, until they heard the loud crashing noises coming from the destination. Taking a worry glance at each other, they ran towards the source.  
  
Slamming the door open, the two looked in. There in the dinning hall, two boys sat across from each other, Snape drinking tea from his cup and Malfoy grinning from ear to ear with bruises and food all over him, looking at them from his seat. All around them were the tiny house elves, busying themselves with the clean ups of the mess made.  
  
Tom gave them a deadly glare at both preteens and suddenly they felt chills down their spines.  
  
"Did you have a food fight?" An innocent question asked by an equally innocent girl, totally oblivious to the ready-to-kill man standing beside her.  
  
"Ye- Yea! We did. S- sorry, if it got messy," Was the reply and the stuttering didn't help with the convincing at all. Laughing, Lily sat down beside Snape whereas Tom sat beside Malfoy.  
  
"Nice save, but don't let me catch you boys doing that again, otherwise, you'll never forget it." The Dark Lord-to-be whispered under his breath and the blonde nodded.  
  
Now seated comfortably with all the mess cleaned up, the house elves brings in the newly made meals and presented them on the table. It has been an enjoyable meals, the conversation has been on about the wizarding world which Tom himself explained with the random fill in by the other two. More Malfoy than Snape though, Lily noted.  
  
Severus sort of scares her. He radiates a kind of aura that suggests coldness in his heart and it seems that he is putting on an act just for the sake of Tom.  
  
"What's do you think is the greatest suffering in the world, Tom?" The sudden abrupt question caught Tom off guard, though the reason is unbeknownst to Lily, Tom smirked. What's the meaning behind that strange gesture?  
  
"The lost of loved ones," Tom claimed, "When you loved someone that you hold dearest to your heart and is suddenly abruptly ripped away from your life and you had to watch it happen, the greatest suffering is caused. It is the worst feeling in the world, might I add,"  
  
Lily nodded, feeling satisfied with the answer, yet a shred of her instinct is tugging at the back of her mind, telling her right off the boat that something with this picture is wrong. Lily ignored it. Tom is just answering her question, nothing wrong with that, she thought.  
  
That answer was most certainly surprising, however, yet interesting nevertheless. Another topic to write about in her small red diary tonight.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After supper, everyone has gone back to their respective chamber. Walking down the corridor, towards his own chamber, Tom suddenly stopped by a dark corner.  
  
'The house elf you are concerned about is the Potter woman,' an evil grin slowly crept onto the pale face of Tom Riddle after hearing the voice in his head. He knew that house elf is different. Extremely suspicious, she was. Normal house elves don't stare at people without desperately asking what they want. That Potter woman has bad acting skills.  
  
' About time. Go along with the plan, I'm sure you want to inflict as much on both of them as possible as I do.' The voice chuckled and disappeared, leaving the heir of Slytherin to ponder their next move. It truly a twist of fate, never once would Tom ever imagine himself talking to his future self. Well, he is serving as the past Tom at the moment. In truth, he's not even real, just a memory from a certain black velvet diary.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It has been two weeks since Lily arrived in the Malfoy Mansion. Nothing particularly happened, really. She and Tilly has became really good friends, and realized that she is really taken by Lucius.  
  
That's another thing. Lately, she discovered exactly how much taken she has by the blonde boy. She noticed how he would charm her, how he would pout, how he got all angry about simple things that's not done right for her, etc. How adorable!  
  
Anyway, back on topic. Of course, being Tilly's friend, it's hard not to notice her weekly visits to the top floor, third door. She has often wondered where she went, but it seems that Tilly didn't want anyone to find out, so she kept it to herself.  
  
Curiosity got the best of her though, and tonight is the night that she decides that she will follow. As impolite as the whole plan is, Lily can't stand mysteries and secrets. A trait that she thought she might pass on to her child if she's ever going to have one.  
  
However, because of this personality trait, she is falling right in our favourite Dark Lord's plan. Right on time too.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Following the minute creature, Lily silently crept into the room without being noticed. Standing by a dark corner, Lily watched in astonishment and amazement as her friend turned into an aged woman, who is now speaking to another man through fire! That's impossible!  
  
"It's been a long week. How have you been?" Lily heard the man speak.  
  
"Just fine, darling." The supposed 'Tilly' replied.  
  
"So how's the girl? Anything worth telling?"  
  
"Well..." The woman then went on about Lily's daily behaviour.  
  
'So she's just pretending to be my friend.' Lily thought, ' to learn more about me and gather information.' While these thoughts are running through her head, another boy appeared in the fire. He has dark unruly hair that stood up in all angles, glasses and a fair face with warm chocolate brown eyes. He looked about eleven, the same age as she.  
  
However, this is not the time to ponder about the boy in Lily's opinion. Stepping out from the shadows and walking into the light, ready to confront them, they gasped in shock as they saw her and her apparent upset expression.  
  
Before all of them knew what happened though, green lights and the scream of 'Tilly' filled the room, and before realization hit the petite red head, Tilly dropped to the ground, dead.  
  
"MAMA!!!" Screamed the boy terror apparent in his expression, and another flash of green light filled the room. This time, however, it was the man who was sent to oblivion on the ground of the other side of the fire.  
  
Paralysed in shock and horror, Lily stared in dismay at the now hysterical boy, tears streaming down both their faces. It's as if time stopped, both stared at each other with disbelief before,  
  
"YOU! YOU-" He didn't get to finish his sentence as the powder of some sorts burned out, leaving Lily still starring at the now lively flame. Suddenly, from behind her, a new flash of blue filled the room and she knew no more.  
  
Somewhere in the shadow by the wall, a cold voice inwardly chuckled.  
  
' Step three complete.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Up in one of the rooms on the third floor, Tom gathered both Snape and Malfoy to discuss about the previous incident after Lily was settled in her own chamber doing whatever, probably in deep slumber, but you never know with someone who possessed a 'Heart of Ice'.  
  
The tall pale young man stood, filling the smaller boys on the events of earlier that night.  
  
"Her memories have been modified," said Tom, " She will not remember anything about this murder and she will think that she has stayed here for many years. I've filled her in on most of the things about the wizarding world earlier in dinner tonight, so it'll make sense to her. Also, she'll also know that she's a muggle-born."  
  
"You," The mere memory of Voldemort pointed at Malfoy, " you will charm her as much as you can. I don't care how you do it, but you have to make her fall madly in love with you, otherwise my plan won't work." The boy in question nodded uncomfortably. Making a muggle fall madly in love with him? Ridiculous! Nevertheless, it's master's orders so he'll have to comply. Damn.  
  
"It won't be too hard, however, I'm glad to say. It appears that she's already a bit of infatuated with you, so it'll make your task easier." Joy to the world, Lucius thought.  
  
"Pity. Now the Malfoy's heir really sank rock bottom. Heh." The said preteen glared at the greasy-haired boy. However, before another crazy fight can break out, Tom shot both of them a warning look, which successfully stopped their argument.  
  
"What about him?" Malfoy inquired, nodding towards Snape, "What's he gonna do?" Anticipating an even worse task to be assigned for the future potions master, Malfoy smirked.  
  
"Nothing." Lucius almost dropped to the ground.  
  
"He will continue to exist in her world as nothingness," Tom explained patiently, "However, if she is to react any differently, then you shall be a mere acquaintance."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Are you questioning me, Lucius?"  
  
"No master," Malfoy bowed his head in defeat.  
  
"One more thing I want you to do, Snape," The pale young man turned his attention to the other boy, "I want you to go into the flower's room after she's asleep to get her diary."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
James bowed his head and dragged his feet to walk up the steps of a muggle orphanage, hatred burning furiously inside him with every step he took. 'I will get back at her for what she's done,' he thought. 'I'll make her life hell.'  
  
The woman who answered the gates was a plump old lady, she greeted him and the ministry officials (Who are pretending to be please-men that rescued him from a terrible car crash) who accompanied him, but he was too preoccupied with his thoughts until someone tapped him on the shoulders.  
  
"Hullo," Said the boy who stopped his thoughts, "I'm Sirius Black. I'm suppose to show you around, but it appears that you're a bit preoccupied."  
  
James looked up and studied the boy. He had dark and almost black hair that's growing just a bit below his ears, a pair of piercing blue eyes and a lopsided smile. Maybe he will be willing to help him to plot revenge after he told him what happened, he look smart enough. But then again, he might be a muggle. besides, you never know how smart a muggle boy can get, not to insult anyone that is.  
  
"So what's your name?" Sirius said, grabbing James' luggage and signalled him to follow as he enter the great concrete building.  
  
"James Potter," he shrugged, not worrying about names at the moment.  
  
Hearing the name, however, Sirius dropped the entire luggage he was carrying and looked at James in shock and disbelief.  
  
"James Potter?! Your father works in the Ministry of Magic, right? The one who's done the wizarding world so much good?" Mistaking the disbelieving look on James' face for confusion Sirius sighed. "Never mind, I've mistaken you for someone else." Waving his hand and then picking up the smaller boy's baggage, Sirius muttered, "You're just a muggle,"  
  
The unruly haired boy stared at Sirius and blinked, "How did you know my dad?"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So how did you end up here anyway? I heard that Mr. Potter is a very good man, he wouldn't send you here." Sirius asked casually (finally getting a hold of his shock,) after sitting down on his bed, which is right beside James' who did the same thing (the other kids are in the dinning room eating). Of course, he wouldn't know of the Potters' death, as he hasn't received his Daily Prophet just yet.  
  
"Was," James said sorrowfully.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Killed."  
  
"Oh," For once in his life, Sirius was speechless, but James decided to tell him the tale anyway, anger flaring and hatred engulfing him once again. Somewhere in between the tragic story, James broke down and cried, sobbing dangerously. Sirius, sensing need from the other boy got up and walked over and hugged him. James was very grateful for the act. He has made his first friend.  
  
That night, James lie awake in his new unfamiliar bed, listening to his friend snoring. The painful memory is still nagging his mind, refusing to leave. The thoughts then were lead to a certain red head. She had a would-be pretty face if she wasn't so pale, and she had long wavy dark red hair that complimented her emerald green eyes that's so full of emotions. She'll be easy to spot, James thought, if she really is eleven as her looks told.  
  
Because she's a witch.  
  
  
  
And Wizards and witches go to Hogwarts.  
  
  
  
Revenge will be sweet, James thought, before he fell into a deep slumber.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tbc.  
  
A/N: I hoped you like this chapter, because it was very hard to write some of the parts. I've got this whole story figured out and there will be nine parts to it. However, like I mentioned way above, the plotline may change due to the release of the fifth book (whenever that is).  
  
Anyway, please review!  
  
Comments will be gladly accepted,  
  
Suggestions will be gratefully appreciated,  
  
And flames will be joyfully honoured.  
  
^_^" 


	2. Battles for Love and For Hate

Summary: James tracked Lily down in the beginning of their first year for revenge; Remus knows more about Lily than he lets on and Lucius being nice?!  
  
Rating: PG for me playing with people's emotions and past causing mental stress.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea.  
  
A/N: Hello, thank you for coming back to read chapter two. I'm very bad at describing things so you're gonna have to bear with me. I'll try to fix it up, if I find errors and/or improvements I can make.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Heart of Ice  
  
  
  
Part 2- Battles for Love and for Hate  
  
  
  
Nothing can surprise her anymore, Lily thought, as she packed her stuff and got ready for the next day's departure to Hogwarts. Today, she has just been to Diagon Alley and just the look of the place took the breath out of her. She's never seen a street so crowded with wizards and witches, so different, so 'magical'.  
  
It was there where she got her school supplies and robes requested of her in the Hogwarts' letter. She also acquired a tawney owl, which she's given the name of Loup; the French for 'Wolf'. She doesn't know why, but it seems familiar, like something from the past.  
  
The textbooks were fascinating, especially Charms. She tried a few of them and they all worked, to Lily's delight. ' That old man's right,' Lily thought, recalling the incident with Mr. Olivanders, 'This wand IS great for charms!'  
  
Another item they have purchased was a deep navy blue diary, since Lily thought that she must've misplaced the former one.  
  
'Lucius was so charming today,' Lily paused, reflecting on the day's event. Apparently, he held and bought all of her stuff just for her, smiled at her like he would with no one else, flashing his bright white teeth..  
  
Then realization was downed to her.  
  
  
  
She's in love with the blonde boy.  
  
  
  
.A Fact she happily accepted.  
  
  
  
Day dreaming, Lily completely stopped her movements and stared blankly at the wall, her face containing a lopsided smile, cheeks flushing. That is, until Tom came to inform her that it was time for supper at the usual time.  
  
Walking down the now familiar corridors once again, Lily and Tom happily chatted. Over the years (in Lily's opinion), Tom became a great friend. He's like someone who she can count on, someone who she can talk with, someone who she can look up to, and someone who can run to, someone like a 'brother'.  
  
The meal was as enjoyable as always, the elves out done themselves once more. In Lily's belief, there can be nowhere she'll have better food. This is before she went to Hogwarts of course.  
  
During the meal, Tom did his rant about things they should watch out for and stuff before they leave for Hogwarts.  
  
"Now I want the both of you to look after Lily," Tom said, looking at the boys.  
  
"And make sure you follow the rules, I'm sure they'll give you a list of the rules so I won't give you further crazy blabbing on that subject."  
  
"If you don't mind me to ask, what about you?" Lily asked, "Why don't you go to Hogwarts, Tom? You said there are seven years in Hogwarts and you look young enough."  
  
"That, Lily, is something I'm afraid I can't tell you." Tom said smiling, mentally kicking himself for not thinking ahead about that subject matter. However, he's delighted that Lily is a lot more bolder but still polite.  
  
Lucius and Severus on the other hand, was shocked at how sharp Lily can be to outwit even their master.  
  
"Oh," Was all of Lily's reply.  
  
When Lily left the dinning hall, however, Tom turned to the other two boys.  
  
"I want you both to remember what I've said that night," Tom began, "And if I find that any of you have crossed the line in any way, you will be severely punished."  
  
"One more thing, Severus, to add on to your list. I want you to keep an eye on the Potter boy and his close friends. Inform me of his routines and anything peculiar."  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
  
  
Lily is a nervous wreck. Today is the day she, along with Lucius and Severus, are boarding the Hogwarts' Express. Starring at the entrance of the platform with doubt, she looked questionably at both boys. Tom had already disapparated, after giving Lily a hug. Lily noticed, though, that he didn't give Lucius or Severus any hugs. She shrugged it off. Boys probably don't want hugs.  
  
  
  
"We'll go together," Malfoy smiled reassuringly, to his own disgust. Lily melted.  
  
  
  
Lily nodded timidly, cheeks tinted with pink and off they went, Severus closely behind. To her astonishment, they both cross the barrier just fine and the scene that greeted them is very different than the ones that she just left behind.  
  
There was a red train with black trimmings that labeled 'Hogwarts Express' on the front. The platform is indeed crowded, so full of students saying goodbye to their parents, putting their trunks in their compartments and some just hanging around, chatting. She looked around, pushing her trolley, while following her crush to one of the compartments.  
  
Suddenly, a boy with sandy hair and a pale face with shaggy robes came and attacked her with a tight hug. "Lily, it is you! I didn't know you were a witch!" The boy exclaimed. Frightened, Lily pushed him away as hard as she can and he landed hard on the ground. She looked at him with fear and confusion. She hated when people are touching her, it brings back memories of Petunia's beatings.  
  
  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
Remus walked through the crowd in platform 9¾, pushing his own trolley. Truth to be told, he's quite nervous about going to Hogwarts, what with who he is. Walking around, trying to find an empty compartment, he spotted a red head, with breath taking green eyes. She was wearing what seem to be a dark grey cloak and a black shirt underneath. She seems very familiar. It couldn't be! He hurried over, to where she is and gave her a huge hug, thinking that she will definitely remember him.  
  
"Lily, it is you! I didn't know you were a witch!" He caught the surprised look on her face, but he was not prepared for the harsh retaliation. He fell hard on the ground and thought that he'll probably get a bruise there soon.  
  
  
  
"Who are you?" her voice was unsteady.  
  
  
  
  
  
"It's me, Remus. Remus Lupin." Remus thought that if he retold her his name, it might ring a bell and she'll happily greet him with the same and/or perhaps more enthusiasm.  
  
  
  
How wrong he was.  
  
  
  
There wasn't even a look of recognition and he noticed that she furrowed her brows. Her companions looked annoyed and ready to punch his life out for disturbing her. He can't believe it. She didn't recognize him. Then it clicked him. He knew the reason why she refused to know him. Remus got ready for the hard beatings he's sure to get from the tough looking guys and shut his eyes closely.  
  
  
  
But the beatings never came.  
  
  
  
The small pale boy dared to open up one eye and saw that someone is defending him. It was a boy with unruly black hair, and round glasses. His expression shows naught but hate. It was surprising, how someone can have so much hate for a person like Lily other than that wretched sister of hers. Perhaps all those beatings have finally gotten into Lily! That's a frightening thought. He wouldn't want Lily to change from the person he used to know.  
  
"I've found you," Remus heard the boy say with menace in his voice. Again, Lily gave another confused look. Her companions cracked their knuckles and smirked, ready to swing their fists at the boy.  
  
Just then another boy came pushing his trolley and helped him up. The boy had similar dark hair but neater and was already in his school robes.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Come on, James, don't start picking fights before we even reach school." The boy mumbled, dragging both Remus and a grudging James away to one of the columns in the platform and then went back to the trio to apologize then pushed all of the trolleys one by one back to the two.  
  
  
  
"Thank you for helping me," Remus said gratefully. "I'm Remus Lupin by the way."  
  
"James Potter and Sirius Black at your service." James responded with a grin, anger and hatred finally subsided.  
  
  
  
"Glad to be of help, Remus!" Sirius smiled at the pale, sick looking boy.  
  
"Why were you associating with the likes of her anyway? She's awful, and you know what she did to you." James nodded towards the place where Lily and company were standing, currently loading their stuff on the train.  
  
"She has her reasons," Remus mumbled under his breath and Sirius told them that they should start dragging their trunks into the empty compartment in the back also, as the train is about to leave.  
  
'So that's her, huh? Doesn't look like a murderer to me.' Sirius thought, as all three of them got comfortable in their seats. 'But then again, looks can be deceiving.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
  
  
"You guys shouldn't have acted so viciously," Lily told the two boys, now seated across her.  
  
"They were harassing you, we have thought it the right thing to do then." Was Lucius' reply. Severus got up,"I'm going to find my friends," And then he left, leaving Lucius and Lily alone and awkward.  
  
"I didn't want them to hurt you," Lucius whispered, looking down. Lily was shocked. She walked over, sat down beside him and hugged him. "Thank you," Lily said, burying her head around his neck and he hugged her back.  
  
"I. I-I like you." Lucius stuttered.  
  
  
  
Lily Evans has officially flown to heaven. The joy in her heart came in a rush and tears of happiness flowed down her cheeks. "I- I like you too,"  
  
  
  
Inwardly, Lucius smirked and congratulated himself for being a great actor.  
  
  
  
Master will be pleased.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So why are you wearing such shabby robes, Remus? If you don't mind me asking, that is." Sirius inquired, trying to make a casual conversation. However, this subject seems to hit a sore spot, as a sudden flash of pain was visible on Lupin's face before he returned to the blank expression.  
  
"My parents despise me," The brown haired youth explained, "They. they don't treat me very well."  
  
"Oh," Sirius inwardly sighed. Why does he keep on making friends with people so full of pain when he is already in suffering himself? Not that he mind though, it's nice to have someone to standby you when you're hurt.  
  
"Why?" Bewilderment can be heard from James' voice. Obviously he's still not used to people mistreating their kids, after staying in the orphanage for one month.  
  
"They. dislike certain parts of my quality." Remus squirmed uncomfortably and the other two boys decided to end this subject.  
  
"Well, that's ok, 'cause you've got us," Sirius claimed, "We're both orphans, and we stay in a muggle orphanage, not much better off than you, I'd say." James nodded affirmatively.  
  
"Then how did you guys get to come? I mean, this is a trip to Hogwarts! Muggles couldn't possibly understand."  
  
" We told the lady it's a boarding school without revealing the curriculum. They couldn't care less, besides, they thought it was free." Sirius answered.  
  
"Very thoughtful of you."  
  
Sirius laughed and grabbed the shoulders of a surprised James and said, "You should've seen what we've done in the orphanage! It's bloody brilliant, I tell you!" Coming to his senses, James agreed excitedly.  
  
During their exciting retelling of the incidents that had happened back in the orphanage, their lively conversation was interrupted by the loud voices outside of their compartment.  
  
  
  
And here they thought they were loud.  
  
  
  
Opening the compartment door, they revealed a little chubby boy, crouched on the ground while being bullied by a group of what seems to be first years. The leader had dark greasy hair, a pale face and wore a cold expression accompanied by a sneer. "Such a pathetic low life form," They heard him say, before he landed a kick on the boy and he whimpered.  
  
"Hey you!" James called out, "Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Someone equally as nasty and ugly?" All attentions are now onto the trio, and the Potter heir realized that it was the same person that was with the red head.  
  
"Good job, James. So much for sneaking up on them." Sirius muttered as the group walked over in a way that acted as if they owned the whole school.  
  
"Oh, it's only Potter and his own friends," The greasy haired leader said.  
  
'How did the greasy haired freak know my name?' James thought, 'probably because of my dad.' An unexpected pain struck him but he brushed it aside.  
  
Sirius and James got ready to fight the gang on the train but they noticed that Remus was cowering behind them, yet not backing down nonetheless. Before the meaningless brawl can break out, however, one of the prefects came along and told them off.  
  
  
  
"Shame," Sirius said aloud, "I wanted to kick their butts." Looking over at the equal disappointed face of James Potter, it's apparent that the kid wanted the same thing. Remus, however, looked relieved at the prospect of being alive.  
  
"Are you alright?" the shaggy preteen asked the chubby one on the ground.  
  
"Th- th- thank you." Said the boy. He got to his feet and dusted his robes and his feature suggests fright.  
  
"Why don't you come in and sit with us?" James offered, opening the doors.  
  
"Th- th- thank you."  
  
After settling down once more, they resume their conversation about the things that Sirius and James have done in the orphanage. But of course, they did self-introductions first. Apparently, Peter's parents are alcoholics and they have often gone out to be with other people than going back home, leaving Peter all alone in the dark house, however, they refuse to divorce, thinking it will hurt their social status.  
  
  
  
Sirius sighed again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Walking into the Great Hall, all first years gasped in amazement at the sight. The ceiling that reflected the sky, the floating candles, the awaiting student body. the anxiety grew. How will they get sorted? Which house would they be in? Personally, James believe that the red head, whatever her name was, will definitely be sorted into Slytherin as he heard the rumours that most dark wizards and witches came from that house. You- Know-Who was one of them. Then, the old lady held out the hat that claims to be the 'Sorting Hat' and fill them in on how they will be sorted. Peter expressed his opinion on how stupid it is after the applause for the song was over.  
  
"Evans, Lily." James heard the stern woman who claimed herself to be professor McGonagall call the red head after several people were sorted. He crossed his hands and stared at her intently. If for some mistaken reason she is to be put into Gryffindor, he will personally make sure that her life will be hell. Heck, he swear he'll make her miserable in which ever house she'll be residing in.  
  
She took a while, sitting on that crooked stool. It must be hard to sort such a devious person into any of the houses, James decided, she's not worthy to come to Hogwarts at all. Then it appears that the hat has decided her destination.  
  
  
  
  
  
"GRYFFINDOR!!" The hat yelled for the entire hall to hear.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily was fidgeting after learning of the way she will be sorted. She hopes that she'll be in whatever house Lucius will be. She walked up towards the stool when her name was called and placed the filthy hat upon her head.  
  
'Ah. I have been expecting your arrival, miss Evans.' The voice seems to be spoken directly to her mind. 'You have the talent of all houses. Cunning and ambitious, you'd do well in Slytherin; Smart and witty you are a true Ravenclaw; Just and loyal as a Hufflepuff should be; and Bravery to withstand anything like Gryffindor. But where to put you.?'  
  
Lily remained silent throughout the ponderings of the hat; she would think that interfering it would affect its decision. The hat has stopped talking for a minute.  
  
'I see dark times ahead of you.' the hat began once again, 'You will have the will to endure the hardships that is to come to you. That is bravery that outstand the rest of the traits.. therefore, it must be GRYFFINDOR!!' The last word has been yelled for the hall to hear and Lily took off the ruddy old hat before heading towards the table that's applauding for her.  
  
She glanced at the other first years and gave Lucius a smile. At the same time, she noticed a familiar boy with dark hair that stood on all angles and he had chocolate brown eyes that were hidden behind round glasses. She recall his name to be James, at least that's what his companion called him. He had an alright feature, Lily decide, except for the fact that he is now glaring daggers at her. The question 'why' filled her head.  
  
  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"I cannot BELIEVE she got into Gryffindor!" James exclaimed angrily, pacing back and forth while throwing his arms in the air in the first years dormitory with Remus and Sirius on their respective beds looking at him. Sirius and Remus have apparently got sorted into Gryffindor also, but poor Peter ended up in Slytherin. That wouldn't stop the fact that he's still their friend though.  
  
"She CANNOT be sorted into GRYFFINDOR!!!"  
  
"Why do you hate Lily so much?" Remus asked timidly and quietly. "She's a nice person."  
  
"Just because. How would YOU know how she is anyway?" Remus shut his mouth and shrugged. Sirius suspected that Remus knew Lily more than he let on; James just didn't question any further probably because he's too infuriated.  
  
"STOP PACING AND GO TO BED!! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!" cried a new voice from the four-poster near the door. It was one of their roommates, a fellow Gryffindor first year.  
  
Finally, with an infuriated 'HMPH', James walked back to his bed and settled in it, arms still crossed.  
  
"Just don't worry about it, Jamsie," Sirius said calmly, calling James by his nickname. " Go to bed, get a good night's sleep and think about it tomorrow. I'm tired and I don't have time to hear you go on about this." After that said, he sank deeper into his covers and fell asleep.  
  
"Sirius is right, you know," Remus pressed on, "It's been a tiring trip, get some rest and you'll feel better tomorrow." With that, Remus closed his eyes with a tired sigh, soon going on yet another journey to slumberland.  
  
Now alone and quiet in an unfamiliar dormitory that's to be his future home for the next seven years, James thought about how he will get a certain red head back.  
  
  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Sitting in his seat he was in the previous night, James rubbed his eyes tiredly while picking at his scramble eggs with his three friends sitting across and beside him. Peter has decided to join them, since people in the Slytherin house 'didn't quite take a liking to him' as he quoted.  
  
"Okay, Jamsie. What time did you sleep last night? You look like the waking dead!" Sirius questioned, looking intently at his closest friend that showed a pale face and dark panda eyes.  
  
"Dunno, but I've thought about how I'm gonna pay Evans back." James gave a tired weak grin.  
  
"Did you now? Geez, it looks like before you can carry out your FABULOUS plan, you'll probably already be DEAD! Don't get this whole revenge thing into your head, you'll grow weak and unhealthy." Remus looked at Sirius surprisingly at his sarcastic comment.  
  
Sirius took a deep breath, "Sorry about that, I sound like one of those overreacting parents that treat their kids like time bombs. But seriously though, you can't go on like this, it's not right."  
  
"It's only this once, Sirius, don't be so worried."  
  
"Sorry,"  
  
"So what did you have in mind?" Remus asked casually.  
  
James told them of the things he thought up and they were all startled by the menace and the stupidity of it.  
  
"Okay, Jamsie. First of all, you CANNOT bribe the teachers to mistreat her. Secondly, she's a murderer as you claimed therefore ghosts wouldn't faze her. Besides, if you haven't noticed, there's already ghosts in Hogwarts!"  
  
Remus nodded in agreement with Sirius. "James, you've got the whole year ahead of you, you can figure out some better plans over the weeks."  
  
"I want to start today."  
  
"How about pushing her down the stairs and rid her of friends for starters?" Peter suggested.  
  
"Great idea, Pete! I'll do that."  
  
Sighing, Remus looked down the table. Professor McGonagall has just finished handing out the year's schedule. "Come to think of it, where is she?" They all glanced around, but it was Peter who spotted her.  
  
"There she is, sitting with the Slytherins. She's seems very chummy with them. Good for her, sitting in her rightful place. We really should trade spots."  
  
James looked over his shoulder and spotted the familiar red head sitting with the companions that accompanied her during the train ride. It seems that she and that other guy with blond hair are very close. James can play with that relationship.  
  
"It's time to go to class," Sirius announced, looking down at his watch. "We should leave now."  
  
"Why? There's still an hour." Peter complained.  
  
"It's the first day here in Hogwarts. I don't know about you, Pete, but I'm gonna get lost."  
  
James nodded in agreement. He'll get his chance today with Lily; he just has to be patient.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Their first class according to the schedule, is Potions with the Slytherins. Perfect.  
  
Entering the classroom in the dungeons, James along with the other three, settled themselves in the back of the room. If they were to be taught by the head of the Slytherins, they rather not get caught with not paying attention. Who knows what the Potions Master can come up with.  
  
It is five minutes before the lesson begin and this is about the time massive amount of students come rushing in. Lily came in along with Lucius and Severus in about the same time and sat with them in front of the class.  
  
James looked at the blonde boy that's now chatting animatedly with the source of his hatred. He looked one not to be messed with; he will have to be careful when dealing with Lily.  
  
Formulating plans in his head, James' thoughts were disrupted by the entry of the professor. Better think about it later, James decided. It appears that the Potions Master has already developed a certain dislike to his group. Probably because Sirius was making fun of his oversized beard, snickering behind his back, saying how he looked more like an ape than a teacher. It's best if he pay attention. Nobody wants detention on the first day of school.  
  
During the lesson however, drifted back to the 'carnivorous flower'. How should he start the torture? Peter's idea was good; maybe he'll go along with that. Then he can pester her. Yes, that sounded good.  
  
"Pay attention, Jamsie! You're putting the wrong--" Sirius' call was interrupted by the eruption of their cauldron. Good thing they haven't add in anything that can be considered as harmful to the human body. Just a few warts on their hands.  
  
"Ten points from Gryffindor." The teacher said.  
  
Sirius glared at James half-heartedly, "Next time don't daydream when we're making a potion."  
  
He's right, James noted. He shouldn't be so wrapped up with vengeance. He vow that he will at least have as much fun as possible when around his friends and keep his revenge at the minimum until he gets out of school.  
  
But, just for heck of it, James tripped her on their way out of class. The blonde Slytherin didn't seem to notice since she was walking behind him. She did take a glance at James' direction though, but she just shook her head.  
  
  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Christmas holidays are here, to everyone's delight except Lily's. Over the break, she has to stay back home, with her ignorant parents and her abusive sister Petunia. The whole situation wasn't helped with the way the four certain boys are treating her.  
  
Ever since their most peculiar encounter in the platform, they seem to have regarded her as a thorn in their sight that they are prepared to pull out, especially that boy named James for no reason at all. James and his friends have become the school's favourite boys with their good looks and wits. All the first year girls adore them and the boys love their company because they are humourous. All the students above their age like them (especially the girls) because they're 'cute and innocent'. With such popularity, they were able to persuade the Gryffindors to ignore and pick on her for two reasons: 1) they wouldn't speak or acknowledge anyone who talked or helped her unless necessary; 2) She's a Gryffindor traitor because she's dating a Slytherin gangster - Lucius Malfoy.  
  
Since the four friends are usually extremely nice and funny, if they dislike someone that much, it must mean that she is a person to be avoided and ignored.  
  
Often times, James would push her, trip her, pull horrible pranks on her and disrupt her daily routines. He would steal her books; lock her in closets, and many innumerable things.  
  
She couldn't count the times she has been to the Hospital Wing just for bruises, cuts and sores. But strangely, nothing that he pulls are permanent.  
  
Her only friends now are Severus and Lucius. Lucius on the other hand distanced himself from Lily. The act was very upsetting, but Lily soon got over it because Lucius explained himself that he is doing it so the two rivaling houses wouldn't get into fights because of their relationship. To prove himself that his 'feelings'are true, he charmed her and hugged her when they were finally alone.  
  
These random dates soon became Lily's highlight of the days, something she desperately is looking forward to. Things with the school populace are getting a bit overwhelming. Every time, Lily would make sure to give Lucius a peck on the cheek to show her affection for him. Nothing too major though.  
  
Now standing in the Hogsmeade Station loading her stuff onto the train, Lily vaguely thought about how things are like back at home.  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Back home is hell.  
  
Over the months that she was gone, it's apparent that Lily's beloved father became an alcoholic. He's gotten into numerous near death experiences because of it. He would often say non sense after he drank and hit Petunia for being an ignorant older sister of Lily.  
  
Christmas spirit is very thin in the air indeed. Her parents' conflicts aren't just over her anymore, but also on the crashing stock in the business industry and her father getting sacked because of his 'addiction'.  
  
  
  
As usual, Petunia blamed Lily for the incidents. She claims that all those horrid things are happening because they tried too hard to get materialistic things to impress 'their precious flower' as well as her 'freakish powers'.  
  
There were little to no presents this year. Petunia got a pearl bracelet while Lily got an emerald locket necklace in the shape of a heart, inside containing the photo of Lily herself. From Lucius she's received a box of chocolates, claiming that he didn't know what to get her. Severus simply sent a card. Very thoughtful of him, Lily thought.  
  
Her parents left for work out of home again after New Years and the remaining days at home became the same as Lily remembered. The beatings, the orders, the many mistreatments. Something's just never change and Petunia's hatred for her obviously didn't.  
  
"Freaks are best treated the way they deserve," She would say.  
  
What happened to the family holiday?  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Using the last of her strength, Lily dragged her trunk out of the train. Awaiting her in the station was Lucius, smiling while walking towards her. She smiled back weakly and when he reached out to hug her, she started crying non-stop.  
  
  
  
"What happened?" Lucius asked softly.  
  
  
  
Lily continued on without answering. She doesn't mind Lucius touching her, because she knows that he is the only one that won't mistreat her in this school. Perhaps Severus as well, but Lily isn't sure.  
  
Lucius didn't say anything and just patted lightly on Lily's back.  
  
  
  
"Don't cry," he said, starting once more, "I'm sure it'll be alright."  
  
"Like what Tom would say, tears don't help the situation at all. The only thing they are capable of is showing your vulnerability to your enemies. I'm sure you don't want the guys to see you like this. Shedding tears is useless."  
  
Lily nodded silently and wiped her eyes. She broke apart from the blonde and smiled, "Thanks, Lucius. Sorry about your robe." And Lucius smiled back. It was a strange way of stopping people from crying, but at least it worked.  
  
Heading towards the castle with Lily, Malfoy made a mental note about throwing away the outfit. It's filled with filthy muggle tearstains.  
  
  
  
  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The rest of the school year went by quite smoothly without anymore big events. That is, if you don't count the future Marauders' abusive actions against the red head.  
  
It's mostly just James with Peter egging him on though. Sirius and Remus are just bystanders that helped without questioning. James eventually got around and told Remus and Peter exactly why he hated the girl so much and that had successfully stopped Remus' attempts of trying to stop him.  
  
  
  
That doesn't mean that Remus stopped believing in Lily though.  
  
  
  
'She is still the girl I used to know. She did not change.'  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Tbc.  
  
  
  
A/N: Hey, so what did you think of this chapter? I didn't know how to end it, so I just put in a crappy one. I hope you still like it though. I'm trying to upload a chapter every week, but I'm going to L.A over the Christmas Holidays so I'm gonna have to delay the third chapter (entitled: Loss of Loved Ones), but I'll try to upload it as soon as I've returned (Which is the last day of the holidays.).  
  
I have to confess, this chapter is very boring, but fear not! The story will get more and more interesting! So far, in my chapter plannings, my favourite chapters are chapter four and chapter seven ~ nine.  
  
I noticed many spelling and grammar mistake in the first chapter and hopefully I'll get to find a time to edit it. Same with this one if I spot errors. Pointers are highly welcome.  
  
  
  
  
  
Thanks to:  
  
  
  
Activegirl00 (love your story update soon!! )  
  
  
  
Tearful Spider (ohhhh....thats sad! Please continue!)  
  
  
  
  
  
mooncancer (Wow, this is so good. I really want to read more. Please write more soon, I know this is not a cliff but still you really start to wonder about what'll happen. Keep up the good work.)  
  
for reviewing my crappy first chapter.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Lastly, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO EVERYBODY AND PLEASE REVIEW!  
  
Tinki-chan~~ Dec. 19/2002 10:41pm 


	3. Loss of Loved Ones

Summary: Voldemort wants something from Lily Evans. What is it exactly? And what steps is he will to take to make him achieve his goal?  
  
Rating: PG for me playing with people's emotions and past causing mental stress.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the story idea.  
  
A/N: Hello, thank you for coming back to read chapter three! I have NOT updated for soooo long and I apologize for that. Science, Math, English, and History is NOT a good combination of courses in a semester in High School. They drove me crazy. And then my disc broke, containing all of my story files. XO Anyhoo, I hope you will enjoy this chapter . it took a while to write. And please R&R when you're done reading! Thank you! ^^  
  
Heart of Ice  
  
Part 3 - Loss of Loved Ones  
The return trip to Hogwarts has been pleasant, as Sirius declared, especially the time when the four had set dungbombs in a certain greasy haired freak's compartment. Talk about grease plus smell. Over the span of one year, Severus Snape has proven himself worthy of their enemy number one (Lucious is number two) and extrememly nosy. He seemed to have the urgency to acquire the knowledgre of their every motive, whereabouts, and doings. Stupid git.  
  
Upon entering the glamorous Great Hall, most students gazed above to see the elegance of the enchanted ceiling. Afterall, they haven't seen the captivating dinning hall for two months! James however, was not among his fellow gaping peers, but was looking around, trying to spot the familiar red head. He hadn't seen her on the train, probably sat in one of the compartments with that sneaky blonde somewhere. Somehow, he can't picture the 'evil murderer' snogging though, he suppose it's because he feels that they are still much too young.  
  
Sirius slapped the distracted boy's shoulder quick harshly to gain his attention. "OW! Sirius!! What do you think you're doing???"  
  
"My intention was to gain your attention and I believe I've achieved my goal." The addressed youth claimed happily, then pointed toward the head table, "Snap out of it, Jamsie! The sorting's about to start." Upon hearing this, James immediately turned his attention to the Sorting Hat, as well as the first years that obviously had came into the Hall while he was 'busy'.  
  
Truth to be told, the four boys planned some surprise for the new comers. At the very beginning to the Sorting, before professor McGonagall even had a chance to put the hat on the first student, the hat exploded into confetti, coloured smoke rushed out of it, and finally, the steam-like gas formed words that say "Welcome to Hogwarts". Applause for such a performance burst through the hall, even the professors, as they couldn't help but be impressed by such a show. The poor first year that sat on the stool was freaked out thou, sitting on the ground, panting and pale looking, staring at the welcome with wonder and amazement, nevertheless.  
  
During all the excitement of the performance, Remus noticed two figures sneaking into the Hall and sat down at their respective house tables while everyone was distracted. The first one is definitely Lucious Malfoy, after all, who can forget his unmistakably silvery blonde hair and the look of pure coolness, evil, and arrogant gesture. The other one seems to be familiar, but who could it be?  
  
Then it hit him.  
  
It must be Lily.  
  
With significant physical changes.  
  
She was limping, and there were bruises on her face. However, the one thing that made the young wolf not recognize the flower is her hair. It's been cut short, and in a mess. Different strands stood out in different angles - it's almost like James' except it doesn't look natural. She looks quite upset about the change in appearance. Lupin didn't blame her, he'd be upset too if someone did THAT to him. He had a shrewd suspicion that James was to blame.  
  
"Well, how's that for the opening ceremony," Sirius smiled smugly, glancing at his friend while applauding along with the others so they don't seem suspicious. When Lupin didn't reply, Sirius looked down the table to where his friend was starring and found himself watching the crippled Lily.  
  
"Don't mention anything about this to James, he didn't do it." Sirius whispered his warning to the other boy and returned to his applause smiling, looking like he had just commented the sorting hat incidence to Lupin. A skill that still amazed the brown haired boy. Remus nodded and turned his gaze away from the poor flower. "He'll know sooner or later, if she doesn't fix her wounds now."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Hey, hey! Lookin' good today, weed!" James called down to Lily, the moment she stepped into the Great Hall for breakfast next morning, limping with a pained expression on her face. As usual, she ignored his calls of malice and sat down in her normal seat with everyone whispering to each other, probably about her injuries. Not liking to be ignored, James dragged his friends down the table and sat across the distressed flower.  
  
"Seems like someone hates you as much as I do., Do enlighten me on who it is, I think whoever it is and I will become great friends. We have something great in common!"  
  
'Gosh that remark hurts,' Lily thought, not looking up from her plate, nibbling at the end of a piece of toast.  
  
"I don't think you have any friends, and maybe your family hate you too? I heard you have a sister, maybe she's the one?" The rat, as Lily dubbed it, had no idea how right he was. But it was cruel nevertheless.  
  
"You know what, Pete, that must be it! Even her sister hates her existence! Well, I don't blame her, who can stand such a foul creature? I'm sure her parents are very much ashamed of her!" James laughed menacingly.  
  
"For YOUR information, POTTER, my family LOVES me!!!!" Lily screamed, unshed tears in her eyes. The entire Hall went silent and stared at the now standing red head.  
  
"Sure they do, weed, just look at what they've done to you! Oh yea, they love you lots!"  
  
Sensing danger, Sirius burst out, "Hey, look at the time! Quit the meaningless chitchat, Jamsie! Time for class~~~!!"  
  
Relief filled Remus and he stood up immediately, "Yes, we have Potions first. We don't want to anger the professor by showing up late." Grabbing their respective books, James gave Lily one last look before leaving with the others.  
  
The tortures have begun once again.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The Marauders, or so they've come to call themselves, began school with a blast and now most of the populace of Hogwarts love them. Under their persuasion, the school is still against the poor Lily. To add on to her grief, a 'Potter Fan Club' was formed, and they see to it that the dirty weed won't bother their 'Dear Prince Charming'.  
  
Tripping in the halls, always late for class, water dumped on her, hair pulled, empty death threats are all daily routines that Lily Evans has gotten used to. To coup with the Marauders themselves and the fan club is a bit much, and soon Lily found out that to deal with it emotionlessly helps a great deal.  
  
Slowly, her face became blank; whenever she's being picked on, she would just look at her antagonist unaffectedly, face cold. But, her eyes always showed her antagonists how she really feels. This made James happy . at least he knows that she is feeling the pain.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Quidditch, is one of the most popular sports in Britain and especially in Hogwarts. It would be safe to say, that most of the male populace residing in the school live for Quidditch and James happens to be one of them.  
  
Waiting impatiently, he walked back and forth in the corridors just outside the Great Hall. The results of the Quidditch tryouts are being posted outside the Great Hall today, and since obviously the agitated youth tried out, he is desperate for an answer. He's not alone, mind you. He's accompanied by most of the people that tried out - which is a lot.  
  
"Will you STOP pacing, Jamsie???" Sirius asked impatiently. The pacing of his best friend is driving him crazy.  
  
"Yea, James. I'm sure you'll get in! You were great!" Peter added his two cents.  
  
"Of course I'm great! I'm just nervous." Was the reply.  
  
"Yes we know, now STOP!!!"  
  
"By the way, where's Remus?"  
  
"He's gone to visit his sick mother again."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You know, I have a suspicion that Remus is not telling us something." Sirius said, sitting down in his regular seat in the Great Hall, ready for dinner to start.  
  
"About the flower?" Peter asked.  
  
"That too, but I meant about going visiting his sick mother every month. Have you noticed that's it's always on a full moon? James, what do you think?" Sirius eyed the happy youth sitting beside him.  
  
"I made the team! I'm the seeker!" The dark haired boy answered, mouth dropping into a lopsided smile.  
  
"Nevermind. You're not listening." Sirius sighed dramatically, head hitting the table and slouching. That caught the other's attention.  
  
"Huh? What did you say?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Don't take me THAT seriously, Sirius. I'm joking. I understand what you're saying, but this is a huge issue, before we confront Remus, we must have enough proofs to back our suspicions."  
  
"What is Sirius saying? What are YOU saying? I don't understand ." Peter mumbled, face red. He knows he's not as smart as the two Gryffindors, but it makes him feel even more stupid when he raise a question when obviously others all understand. It's not a nice feeling.  
  
"We're thinking that perhaps Remus is a . werewolf." Sirius replied under his breath.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Remus?" James asked tentatively. It's eight in the evening, Sirius and Peter are still in the Great Hall dinning, but James volunteered to confront Remus.  
  
"Will you leave me alone for a while, James? I need sleep . desperately. Travelling isn't the most untiring thing to do, you know." A groggy Remus replied, face still down in his pillow, covered with warmth in his own four posters. Apparently, he's still exhausted from the transformation the previous night.  
  
"Fine, just hold onto my prank book for a sec while I go search for Sirius. I don't trust anyone to hold it but you and I feel unsafe to place it anywhere in this room. "Fine." An unaware Remus held out his hand to receive the item, eyes not opening.  
  
Holding his breath, James dropped his silver cover book into the hands of the young wolf.  
  
"AHHHH!!!" The sleeping youth jumped up and held his hands together, wide- awake.  
  
"Damn!!! I forgot that book has a silver cover!" Suddenly realizing what he is saying, Remus covered his mouth and looked at the tight-browed James with fright.  
  
"Uh . um ." The young wolf tried hard to explain his previous action.  
  
"You ARE a werewolf, aren't you?"  
  
"NO!! I'M NOT A WEREWOLF!" The young wolf shouted, his eyes showed obvious panic.  
  
"Remus ."  
  
"I'm NOT a werewolf ."  
  
"You ARE. Why else did you feel pain when touched by silver? Why ELSE would you leave the castle every full moon???" James' impatience is getting to him. He cannot believe that one of his best friends would hide something this important from him! He'll never tell someone about something like that! Never! Doesn't Remus trust him??? Can't he tell that he's not afraid nor ashamed of what he is?  
  
Mistaking James' edginess for contempt, Remus shook, "No . I - I'm not a werewolf . I'm NOT! Honestly!!!"  
  
"Remus ." James reached out to touch his friend, but Remus jerked away.  
  
"L - leave me alone!" With that, the upset youth ran out of the dormitory.  
  
"Damn him!" James shouts out in frustration, kicked the bed hard, and followed.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Running breathlessly in the halls, tears formed in Remus' eyes. How did they find out? Now he won't be able to stay in Hogwarts any longer. His so- call friends will probably now resent him and tell the entire school about it. What will Dumbledore say? How will he survive this?  
  
Pain engulfed him and since he was so deep in thought and blurry eyed, he bumped into someone and fell hard on his bottom. Terrified, he backed away slowly and edged to the nearby wall.  
  
"D-don't touch me . leave me alone!"  
  
"Remus, what's wrong?" The wolf raised his head at the tender voice and looked into the eyes of none other than Lily Evans.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"What are you doing, Jamsie?" A wandering Sirius with a full-tummy Peter stopped a puffing James, obviously unable to move another step any longer.  
  
"Damn werewolves can run fast." The tired boy replied and sat down on the ground.  
  
"Don't tell me . you went edgy on him, he got scared and ran away." The breathless James nodded and Sirius sighed.  
  
"That's horrible, James! Remus must be extremely insecure right now, he might do something rash!" Peter exclaimed, fear evident in his voice.  
  
"He was being difficult! He was in denial! I . I guess I'm just upset that he can't trust me at least that much."  
  
Sighing again, Sirius replied, "Let's find Remus quickly before he DOES do something/"  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Remus, are you alright?" Lily asked kindly, kneeling down to face the now shivering youth while gathering the books she had dropped when the brown haired teen bumped into her.  
  
"Lily . Lily they found out!" Remus stared at the red head with his tearful eyes, his hands holding his head. He figures that Lily should've known that he was a werewolf so he didn't mind being so blunt.  
  
"You mean, the other Marauders found out you were a werewolf?" The flower sat cautiously beside the frightened boy.  
  
Several students walked by, but Remus glared at them and they hurried away.  
"So now that they knew, what do you plan to do?" Lily questioned, after a moment of silence.  
  
"I don't know ." Remus' voice is a bit shaky, Lily noted.  
  
"Well, I think you should confront them first. You've just ran out of the room when Potter pressed on, didn't you?"  
  
"How ."  
  
"You're wearing your bed clothes and judging from the way you were in shock and Potter's personality . I would say that he probably woke you up with something not immune to werewolves . a silver possibly, that gave you a sense of threat, which was the first cause of you feeling insecure. Then he may have asked you about your being a werewolf."  
  
Lily paused to think for a bit, "Since you're feeling insecure and in shock, you were in denial possibly. Potter is very impatient; he may have gotten edgy when he obviously knew you are lying. Then, you began to get afraid and fled the room."  
  
The red head smiled, "Of course, those are just my hypothesis."  
  
Remus stared at Lily in shock. That has to be the best instant analysis he's ever heard. And the scary thing is, she's right.  
  
"You're amazing ."  
  
"Hm? I was actually right?! I was just guessing!"  
  
"Anyway, what you need to realize is that, they still regard you as a friend. Even though the Marauders have done many cruel things ." The flower girl paused for a moment and then continued, " You guys are loyal to each other. You have shown fierce trust between each other more than everyone else that I've observed. If they didn't accept you as a werewolf, they would've told the entire student body already, the moment they found out. If they resent or fear you, they would've stayed away from you. So see, they only wanted the truth from you, they want you to know that they still like you despite what you are."  
  
Remus listened with his eyes downcast, his heart easing with each point made by the girl beside him. He smiled weakly and ran a hand through his messy hair, "Yea, I guess you're right."  
  
Just then, they heard voices down the corridor. It sounds like Sirius is nagging James about the way he handled the situation with the young werewolf.  
  
Lily smiled, "So go talk to them. They care about you."  
  
"Thank you, Lily." Remus said sincerely, looking gratefully up at the red head as she stood up and dusted herself, holding her books.  
  
"Oh yea. I should warn you that you and Madam Promphrey should be more discreet when you're going down the Whomping Willow to prevent people like me to discover your secret."  
  
"Well, I better go now. Consider this conversation never happened. Potter wouldn't like to hear that one of his best friends talked and consulted with a weed." Lily gave Remus a gentle smile and disappeared down the other end of the hall before he could say anything.  
  
"Remus!" Sirius yelled, spotting the now better werewolf.  
  
"I'm so sorry for being such a dumbass in the dorm earlier, Remus. I wasn't thinking and I think I offended you or something . either way I'm really sorry." James apologized the moment he reached the brown haired boy.  
  
Remus stood up from the ground and smiled wearily. "It's alright, James. I've calmed down quite a bit and thought things through. Yes, I am a werewolf. It's been very hard for me to enter this school, so please don't tell anyone!"  
  
"You doubt us?" Sirius laughed and patted him on the shoulders. "Don't worry, we'll never! No matter what you are, you're still Remus!"  
  
"That's right!" Peter grinned.  
  
Remus beamed. Lily was right, and he now honestly believes that he had made the truest friends anyone can wish for.  
  
"So where do you transform every full moon? ."James asked, some sort of idea coming to his head .  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Cold flurries flew in the breeze as Lily and the others head down to the Hogsmeade Station. She just received a letter from her parents, praying that she would come home for Christmas this year also. While the others stood in groups, chatting among themselves, the red head leaned against a pole, watching the empty railway, blurred by the flowing snow.  
  
"Hi Lily, I didn't know you were going home for Christmas." Lily turned her head just slightly to acknowledge Remus' presence.  
  
"I didn't know you are going too, so that makes us even." Shot down. The reply was a bit bitter, but Lily didn't care. Lupin is Potter's friend and no Marauder is safe. Actually, she doesn't know why she's acting so unfriendly . maybe it's because of the prospect of going back home.  
  
"I want to thank you again for last time." The werewolf said.  
  
Sensing her guards rising, Remus continued his attempt at conversation. "This winter's going to be one of the coldest. You should wear more so you don't get ill or something. You wouldn't want your sister to tease you for that, now do you?"  
  
--- Flashback ---  
  
'Da winter's gonna be colda dis yea, Lily'  
  
'How can you tell?'  
  
'Ma senses are sharp, did ya forget?'  
  
'Achoooo!'  
  
'Ya betta wear more or Petunia's gonna pick on ya harder!'  
  
'Thanks for your care! I feel warmer now.'  
  
--- End of Flashback ---  
  
Now where did THAT memory come from?  
  
"Lily?" Snapping out of her daze, the flower looked at the young wolf.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You just scared me there. You went blank all of a sudden." Remus smiled gently, "But I guess you're alright now."  
  
Wait.  
  
She's seen that smile somewhere before . but where?  
  
"Could you smile like that again?" Lily asked boldly, her mind not thinking properly. This did raise the boy's hopes though.  
  
'Maybe she's remembering!' Smiling again in the same direction, the wolf waited patiently for the other to continue.  
  
Lily stared for a few seconds, but nothing in her memory recalls anything. Perhaps she's just dehydrating or something. "Nevermind, it's nothing."  
  
"Why did you want me to do that?"  
  
"It's nothing, I'm sorry if I was too rude in asking for your . um . smile ."  
  
Remus smiled again, "I believe it is more rude to not know why you were asked to do something."  
  
Before Lily can say anything however, the train arrived and the red head gladly slipped away from the Marauder.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Christmas holidays came and went. Nothing special happened but the usual. On Christmas day, she received a sapphire necklace from Lucious, a treasure Lily adored. However, the moment her parents are gone, Petunia took it and kept it as her own. Other than that, her parents have gotten her plenty more stuffed animals and dresses. Petunia took these too.  
  
Overall, it's not too bad. Apparently, Petunia made a boyfriend and is often over is his house, so Lily doesn't feel that distressed. She's almost grateful to the boy that was Petunia's boyfriend.  
  
Almost.  
  
She's received many letters from Lucious about how things are in his mansion, how he is, and how Tom is. Lily's very delighted to be given these letters. They have offered her comfort and warmth during the cold winter at home.  
  
Upon returning to Hogwarts, however, Lily will be forced to face another blast of coldness.  
  
After going back to Hogwarts, the first thing she received was a hug from her beloved, Lucious. Something she was glad to return. But over the next couple of months, it seems like people are whispering secrets behind her back.  
  
What secret is there to gossip about though? There's nothing that the flower hides that can arouse that big of a rumour.  
Then, everything happened during the Easter holidays.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
'Professor Flitwick is feeling good today,' Lily thought, 'it's nice of him to let us out of class early.'  
  
Walking down the hallways of Hogwarts, Lily furrowed her brows as people around her began to whisper again, but turns silent every time she looks at them. It's getting quite frustrating. Even Remus looks at her with pity but didn't say a thing. Potter seems to enjoy whatever's going on.  
  
Tightening her hold on her books, Lily walked faster down the corridor, but then she slowed her speed when she heard a familiar voice talking.  
  
" . and then she hugged me and told me I'm the first person that's ever been nice to her. I'm the only one who cares . now isn't that sad?" She heard several hearty laughs. "What a loser! I'll bet you twenty galleons that she will do whatever I say as long as it's me."  
  
"Ooooohhh! Tell her to drown herself! That way, the entire school will be happy!" Lily heard a high and snobbish voice say. Lily recognized the voice as Narcissa's, a Slytherin in the same year. Fear engulfed her as she walked around the corner. When she did, what she saw made her froze.  
  
Right there standing by the door to the Transfiguration classroom was Lucious .  
  
Holding Narcissa, and kissing her.  
  
Lily was paralysed by shock and all she did was standing there, watching the two. Groups of people gathered as class ends and noticed the conflicts. Many stayed to watch the result of this drama.  
  
Finally, Lucious noticed her. "What are you doing here, mudblood?"  
  
"Wh . why?"  
  
--- Flashback ---  
  
Over the Christmas break, Lucious Malfoy returned to his mansion under the demand of his master. Apparently, he has new orders for him.  
  
"Listen very carefully now, Lucious. I believe the time has come to break our delicate flower's heart. I don't care how you do it, but I want her to despair. I want her to suffer and feel pain like never before." Tom Riddle said, playing with the velvet black book.  
  
The blonde youth grinned evilly . finally he can tell the damn mudblood off. He's sick and tired of her hanging all over him. He will enjoy torturing her .  
  
--- End of Flashback ---  
  
Watching with her body numb all over, Lucious smirked at her.  
  
"Sorry, flower, I don't feel the same about you anymore. You can bugger off, mudblood, before I feel annoyed and curse you or something." The blonde boy laughed and led Narcissa and himself out of the hallway. Everyone lingered to see the reaction of the red head, but was awarded with nothing but a shocked face.  
  
Lily's face was pale, yet unlike many has imagined, she did not cry nor move. She merely stood there, staring at the ground.  
  
'I will not cry in front of anyone. I will not allow myself to cry.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So how was your Easter, weed? I heard that good for nothing blondie broke up with you . about time too. I don't see how anyone can bear the sight of you much less become friends or lovers with you." A typical greeting from Potter. However, James didn't linger to 'chat' with Lily for as long as she thought. But then, her answer to the question was a dung bomb, which exploded the moment the dark haired lad left.  
  
Spring came and went. The Quidditch season ended with Gryffindor as the winner due to James' talented skills. Lily had to admit, he is quite gifted. The many months of school has flown like an arrow shot, and the students are now facing the last two months of the school year - May and June.  
  
Nothing really big happened during the past months, besides the 'normal' daily routines, but now that Lily and Lucious are no longer together, Lily had more time to think. She thought about the reason why James hated her so . he never did tell her why. Of course, there are also other thoughts such as how her family is doing, the lessons of the day, why Lucious did what he did, and her brotherly like guardian Tom.  
  
Speaking of which, what's going to happen this summer? Is she still going back to Lucious' castle? So far, the blonde boy has been ignoring her, and sometimes came as far as tormenting her along with the others. It hurts, it does. But there's nothing she could do but accept the facts.  
  
With so much time on her hands, Lily was able to study hard and her grades came at the second highest on the list, just under James despite the daily torments. She guess this could count as an alright life in Hogwarts.  
  
It could be worse.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
It was another day in Hogwarts. Lily got up at the usual time and went down to the Great Hall for breakfast. When the owls came, she didn't expect anything from Loup, but there was.  
  
It was a black envelope with a green seal.  
  
Opening the letter carefully, feelings of forbiddance engulfed her. Inside was a single scrap of parchment, written in very neat writing:  
  
I have kept your family captive. If you don't want them to die, come home before the fall of tomorrow's sun. L.V  
  
Standing up, the young red head shivered with horrors and immediately ran out of the Great Hall. She must leave here at once, but how? She'll go to Professor Dumbledore, he know everything.  
  
- - -  
  
". Professor?" Lily tentatively asked after the headmaster of Hogwarts has been reading the letter for about ten minutes.  
  
"Yes, Lily?"  
  
"Is my family in danger?" Her voice shook with urgency, "It's not another prank, is it?"  
  
"I'm afraid, that I have no choice but to send you home, my dear Lily." Dumbledore avoided the answer yet spoke gently of the truth, "I will see to your transport and please, be extremely careful in what you will be involved in."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily stood outside a familiar cottage and stared at it dumbfounded. There were some problems with the portkey that Dumbledore had set up and so she was set back for more than a few hours in the old man's office. Now, gaining her senses, the red head took notice of the dark house that stood before her. Immediately she recognized it as her home.  
  
Running in a rapid pace, she slammed open the door and looked for any signs of living. Then, there in the corner sat a dark figure, his blood red eyes shone through the hood and gave Lily shivers down the spine.  
  
"I've come as you asked me to, now let my parents go!" The young girl screamed, but was answered with a cold laugh.  
  
As the figure walked out of the shadows, Lily was able to see clearly the body of her beloved father . blood as red as wine oozing out of his corpse, his clothes tattered. Her face gone as pale as a ghost, her hands holding the sides of her head and a scream was forced out of her throat.  
  
"Li . Li-Lily ." A weak tortured sound whispered through the sudden silent house. Eyeing the cloaked man, Lily saw her mother, held up by chains and bloody all over. There were signs of torture . and traces of the usage of the cruciatus curse.  
  
"LET MY MOTHER GO!!!" The red head screamed once more, pleading the shadowed man.  
  
"Tsk, tsk. You thought that by coming here, you will be able to free your loved ones?" Finally, the dark figure spoke.  
  
"You thought that I would torture your parents just so you would come?"  
  
"Silly girl . Lord Voldemort do no foolish things ."  
  
Holding a dagger and aiming for the heart, Voldemort smiled, " I want you to suffer, become the one who harbour the Heart of Ice! The one who holds the power I sacrificed everything for .!" With that, the sharp utensil went right through the heart.  
  
Blood spurt out of the wound like a fountain, screams of pain echoed through the dead house. Her mother's cries, her pleas, her sufferings all were heard loudly in Lily's mind.  
  
Harbouring horrors beyond belief, Lily shook as her mother fall to the ground in a heap . dead. The cold laughs of Lord Voldemort rang in her ears as he disapparated into thin air, leaving her with the sight of her dead parents and the knowledge of the loss of her family.  
  
She wanted to cry. She has the urge to destroy. Yet, she restrained herself from doing any of such things. Lucious' words have certainly been carved into her mind, despite the fact that he is no longer one who cared for her.  
  
Standing, all alone, she just watched the dead bodies. Slowly, the young flower's face cleared any traces of emotions, the eyes that once showed so much expressions now blank .  
  
her heart is now empty .  
  
and cold as ice.  
  
Tbc .  
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter . some parts were fun to write. There's no a lot of Snape's appearance is there? Hopefully I'll be able to insert some of his scenes in the next chap. Anyhoo, it'd be really nice if you guys can R&R. That would be really appreciated. Thankies! ^^*  
  
BTW, thanks to all who has reviewed my previous crappy chaps! Your support was very dear to me and they motivated me! Hopefully I will be able to post everything before the end of May ~~  
  
AND WE'RE ALL HAPPY KNOWING THE FACT THAT THE FIFTH BOOK IS COMING OUT ON JUNE 21!!!!!! XD 


	4. Tears Are Signs of Weakness

Summary: Lily has sunk into a depression . . . and not just a normal depression! She lost her expression, her feelings, and every emotion that's considered humane. Who will help her now?  
  
Rating: PG13 for excessive emotional pain, and violence (though not that much)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't any thing except the idea of this story.  
  
A/N: Hello! Thank you for coming back to read the fourth crappy chappie of my fic! This one is rushed, unfortunately, but I'm trying to reach my own deadline and do all my high school work at the same time, so I hope you don't mind.  
  
Personally, I don't think Lily has suffered enough due to my poor description, but hopefully I'll be able to revisit all of my ideas after everything is done. Well, I'll stop now so you can go on and read chap four!  
  
Heart of Ice  
  
Part Four - Tears Are Signs of Weakness  
  
The Dark Mark was hovering over Lily's house by the time the Ministry of Magic arrived with Dumbledore. By then Lily was sitting in the darkest corner, holding her mother's corpse, cuddling in the darkest corner of the house.  
  
"Lily . . ." the elderly headmaster bent down and softly spoke to the shaken girl. The addressed red head turned to face Dumbledore, and found him frowning. As a headmaster of Hogwarts in this dark period of time, he had comforted many students before. But to see one that showed no traces of any emotions unnerved him, it made him uneasy.  
  
". . . Professor . . . mother is dead. Everyone is dead . . . everyone is dead . . ." Lily trailed off, looking back at the deceased woman in her hold.  
  
Again, in the same monotone voice, Lily whispered. The headmaster had to strain his ears to hear what the delicate flower was saying.  
  
". . . But it was beautiful . . . the way this wine-like blood slowly covers the ground like a red carpet . . . it makes me feel special, like I was a royalty . . . it's so wonderful . . ." Lily faced the old professor but this time with a crooked, insane but small smile. ". . . Don't you think so, professor . . .?"  
  
Sighing, the headmaster put his hands on Lily's shoulders and helped her up, releasing her hold on the bloody body. "I think it's best to have you back at the school, young Lily."  
  
Walking for only a few steps, however, Lily suddenly stopped.  
  
"Lily?"  
  
"Tom was here . . . I can't go yet. He'd be wondering where I am."  
  
"Tom?"  
  
"He said he'd be back soon. He said he is only getting something."  
  
"Lily, I need to know who this Tom is." Dumbledore said, now giving Lily a piercing look, a look that made many confess. The red head didn't seem to notice though.  
  
"I can't go. He asked me if I would go with him and I haven't replied yet . . ."  
  
---Flashback---  
  
"Lily?" A black figure approaches the shaken girl.  
  
"Tom? Tom is that you?" Lily asked in a monotone voice while searched the darkened room for the source of the voice.  
  
"Lily . . ." The addressed body showed himself and knelt down beside the red head whose already holding the corpse of her mother.  
  
"What happened . . .? This is horrible!" The young Riddle questioned, his voice full of concern.  
  
"They're dead. They're all dead." Was the reply.  
  
". . . Come with me." The boy requested, "Forget Hogwarts, forget Lucious, forget everything else in your miserable life and come with me. Join me and I will help you find relief in all of this. I can help you, Lily. Come with me and let me help you."  
  
Lily looked at the dead body in her hands and smiled insanely . . . maybe going with Tom would be the best thing to do. After all, he's the only one that cared now. Suddenly, the older boy perked up at the sounds outside of the house. Lily remained in the same position.  
  
"I will come back soon, Lily. I left something outside. Will you give me an answer when I'm back?"  
  
The kneeling figure didn't respond, but young Voldemort didn't wait for a reply either.  
  
---End of Flashback---  
  
"Come Lily. Tom will know that you went back to Hogwarts. He can find you there." With that, the old professor led the girl out the door. Leaving the Ministry to clean up the mess.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
In the following summer, after school has ended (Lily has scored the second highest in the exams), the blank-faced Lily received a letter from Petunia. Apparently she was in her boyfriend's house when the attack happened. She was devastated when she returned that night. Now she's staying with Vernon Dursley, her boyfriend's house since he's striving on his own already and has space in his apartment.  
  
YOU'RE THE REASON MA AND PA DIED!!!! COME TO STAY IN VERNON'S PLACE FOR SUMMER, I DARE YOU! YOU'LL PROBABLY JUST GET US ALL KILLED! YOU'RE A FREAK AND I *HATE* YOU!!!!! LIVE IN THE STREETS FOR ALL I CARE! I DON'T HAVE A SISTER ANYMORE! -Petunia  
  
Folding up the letter, Lily held her trunk and headed for Diagon Alley. Perhaps she can find a job there over the summer and somehow survive. She had no more muggle money, however, so she had to walk from Kings Cross Station to London, where the secret entrance to the Wizarding community is.  
  
Slowly, dragging her feet while pulling her trunk, Lily watched the people passing and going on the London streets. There were many hoboes and homeless folks that's for sure. She has no reason to dread anything. She could have suffered worse.  
  
'Act normal, Lily.' She told herself. 'You have no reason to despair compared to these poor people.'  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
The death of Lily's parents became the headline news in the front page two days later, along with the list of the most recent victims that fell under the rising dark lord that called himself 'Lord Voldemort'. The Ministry is getting panicky, Lord Voldemort has been gathering numerous lackeys and more everyday and there is nothing they can do about it. Death became the top story everyday, you just don't see a pleasant news often anymore.  
  
Upon arriving a new year in Hogwarts, the rising increase in demise significantly lowered the spirit of the school and the Marauders felt that it is their duty to cheer everyone up.  
  
They've often played pranks, sneaking into the kitchen to bring surprises for everyone (much to the disapproval of many teachers), and various other things.  
  
And tormenting Lily was always part of their pranks.  
  
However, they felt uneasy every time they played malicious pranks on her because the petite red head would always stand there, full of no emotions and just clean up the mess. Whenever Lupin tries to talk to Lily when they're alone, he would always receive either a blank expression or an insane smile that totally unnerved him.  
  
Lily on the other hand, tried her hardest to look and act like her normal self, but didn't realize that it's having a total different result. The insane smile is the only expression her muscle can muster. After all, her mind is under extreme distress and making expressions seems to only pressure it more.  
  
--- After Transfiguration---  
  
"You know what, Severus? I think that the dirty mudblood ought to know her place. That expression of hers is intimidating everyone, it's not right!" Lucious claimed, speaking loudly into the ears of a certain greasy haired boy. "It's such a shame that master should keep the deaths of the Potters a secret from that silly mudblood. After all, wouldn't that cause even more pain?"  
  
"Whatever, I don't have time to chat with the likes of you."  
  
"Come to think of it . . . don't you still have that little diary or hers?"  
  
"Of course!" Snape smirked and brought it out of his bag and waved it around.  
  
Grinning, Lucious attempted to grab it. "GIMME! GIMME!"  
  
Keeping out of the blonde boy's reach and smirking, Snape bumped into someone behind him.  
  
"OW!!!" Peter shouted in unhappiness when his bottom made contact with the ground. Opeining one eye, the chubby boy saw the little book. "What's this?" He muttered, picking it up.  
  
"GIVE ME THAT!" Snape shouted, both in anger and in anxiety. If his master were to know that he lost the diary to a useless fatty, he'd be in more trouble than anyone on earth.  
  
"No, give it to me, Pete!" James grinned, coming into the picture and helping Peter up. The petite blond immediately give the book to the taller boy, relieved in giving away this object of obvious trouble.  
  
"Potter . . . I'm warning you . . ." Snape said in a threatening tone, but James took no notice.  
  
"What's this?" James' eyes widened in delight as he skimmed through the contents of the little book. "Well, well! What do you know! It's Evans' diary!"  
  
"POTTER!!!! STUPE-"  
  
"EXPELLIARMUS!!!" Sirius roared before the greasy haired boy. Snape fell as he was disarmed.  
  
"What's going on?" The young werewolf asked, also entering the scene.  
  
"Nothing, we're just going." Lucious said casually, "We just can't stand the sight of low Gryffindors who buds into our business. Now hand the diary back."  
  
"No way! Try to take it from us instead!" James smiled triumphantly. There's no way these two crooks can steal this precious pranking tool from them, it's four against two!  
  
"Hmph! It's not like we need them anyway." The blond Slytherin stalked away, dragging Snape with him.  
  
Snape glared at them; "I'll get that diary back, Potter!" he spat out the last word in disgust.  
  
Watching the two Slytherins walking away angrily, Sirius turned to face his best friend.  
  
"So what diary is it?"  
  
"It's Evans'. We can post it up all over the school! And look, the first passage was written when she was just three years old!" Remus paled significantly. Did the Slytherins read it? If they did, then they will know that he is a werewolf! If this news went around the school, he'll no longer be able to stay in Hogwarts any longer! Panic struck the young sandy haired youth.  
  
While the young werewolf was pondering over those depressing thoughts, the other marauders were already flipping through the tiny red book.  
  
"This book seems abandoned right before she came to school," Peter proclaimed.  
  
"There must be a more recent one then," James thought out loud. "I'm gonna steal it."  
  
Remus looked at James in bewilderment. "You're serious? You're actually gonna do that?"  
  
"Why not?" Again, Remus didn't say anything.  
  
"Well, I will."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Hey guys, guess what?" James asked, walking into the Gryffindor Common Room one Friday afternoon.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked lazily, glancing at James only for a second before going back to the chess game he's having with the werewolf by the fireplace.  
  
"I've got it!"  
  
"You've got what?" Remus asked, not looking up.  
  
"Evan's other diary!" The young werewolf's head snapped up after the reply. He was most definitely NOT expecting that answer!  
  
James sat down on one of the couches by the fireplace and skimmed through the small black velvet book the same speed he flipped through the previous one.  
  
"Wait a minute . . . this doesn't make sense!" The dark haired boy exclaimed.  
  
"What doesn't make sense, Jamsie? Wait, scratch that. Nothing EVER make sense to you." Sirius grinned and James scowled.  
  
"Well, in the end of the first diary, she was talking about the strangeness of the house elf friend she's befriended for a month Tilly . . ." James gulped, remembering her mother, "And then this one started with how much she likes Lucious and how she views his mansion as her home since she's been there since forever but it's actually only one month . . ."  
  
"Hmmm . . . it's like a part of her diary is being cut off . . ." Sirius mused while Remus stayed silent.  
  
"Her diary is no fun, there's nothing embarrassing in them!" James angrily declared. Of course, what James didn't know was that Lily wrote in her diary the most ordinary things that happened that day, like how she did chores instead of Petunia beating her and then told her to do chores. After all, she found that writing those kind of memories only made her feel worse afterwards.  
  
"Damn. But I think I'll keep it anyway."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Mr. Potter, may I see you in my office please?" The headmaster of Hogwarts beckoned James to follow him after seeing the dark haired youth terrorizing the expressionless Lily along with the other three.  
  
"Sure, Professor Dumbledore." James said, not feeling any guilt at all.  
  
Remus, Sirius, and Peter looked at each other in worry.  
  
---Dumbledore's Office---  
  
" So what can I do for you, Professor?"  
  
Dumbledore stared at James for a moment before replying, "James, it has come to my attention that you have been harassing a certain student in this school. Am I correct?"  
  
"You're correct, Professor." James answered plainly.  
  
"Why do you terrorize Lily so, James? What has she done to you that deserves such an unwanted attention?"  
  
"She killed my parents, Professor. I feel perfectly justified to avenge my mom and dad." James answered trying to keep his calm.  
  
"You claim that she killed your parents. What proof do you have of that?"  
  
"I was THERE, professor! I SAW her kill them!" Losing his cool, the young Gryffindor yelled, and told everything about the night they died. Dumbledore merely remained silent and listened.  
  
"It appears, James," the headmaster started after James was done, "that Lily did NOT murder Mr and Mrs Potter." James looked at the elder Dumbledore in question.  
  
"Lily is only a child of ten when it happened, as you are. What spell could she possibly learn and master to do such criminal spell? I know for a fact that Mrs Potter was infiltrating Lord Voldemort's lair disguising as a house elf and befriended the young Lily. Perhaps Lily was just upset over your mother after she found out that she was actually not a house elf. Ms. Evans is a very smart and sharp girl, you may have found out."  
  
James remained silent, still not convinced.  
  
"Perhaps I need to inform you further to convince you of her innocence . . ." the elderly man claimed and was affirmed by the nod of James' head.  
  
"You must understand, Mr. Potter, that what I am about to tell you must NOT go out of this room. It is to remain absolute secrecy.  
  
James was convinced that he was to be told of how horrible Evans actually is, but he did not expect to hear what Dumbledore had to say.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
James, feeling quite mixed-up strolled down the halls of Hogwarts with his head down. So Lily never did anything at all. He was quick to assume things. The guilt of torturing the poor flower for no reason filled him and the young Gryffindor Seeker quite upset over that. Why didn't he made sure that Lily DIDN'T do anything?  
  
Remembering back on the day when his parents died, still vividly in his mind, James recalled Lily's upset expression. Whatever was bothering her definitely flew out of the window with a snap when his parents just drop dead. Just like that. He remembers the stunned expression on the red head as well. It seems like she was frightened . . . there was a flash of blue light, but then the powder went out and left him crying with sorrow and hatred.  
  
He immediately believed that Lily was the one who murdered his parents, he really did. But what else is he to think? His parents just died. Just like that! He has every reason to not think carefully. He has every reason to believe that she was a murderer.  
  
Getting angry at the guilt gripping his heart, James began stomping with a mad expression on his face. Many students walked by and made way for him sacredly.  
  
Suddenly, he heard bullying over by the staircase. There were insults, name- calling, and some pushing, by the sounds of it. And then, there was a scream followed by some scared voices.  
  
Alarmed and being the justified one, he immediately rushed over to the scene of the incident, but before he can reach the Staircase, someone literally dropped on him.  
  
The sudden heavy weight of a body on top of him made James quite out of it. He was knocked out for a few seconds before regaining his mind. He gently pushed off the person (whoever it was) and grabbed his wand to fix his broken glasses. When the round spectacles are fixed, James glanced at the one who collapsed on top of him.  
  
It was a girl, for one thing. A girl with long pretty curly flaming red hair. Now who does he know that has long red hair? It can't be Lily because the flower had short messy hair, and it can't be Molly from one of the older years . . . no . . . the girl before him is too elegant to be Molly.  
  
The girl stirred, but she seems to be unconscious. James turned her around and saw that she has a fair complexion . . . she seems quite familiar yet different . . . he just can't put his finger on it . . .  
  
Trailing his view from the red head's troubled sleeping face down, he noticed that she's wearing a Prefect's badge . . . and her hand is holding something .  
  
And blood is dripping from it.  
  
Alarmed, James immediately used a spell (mobilius) to bring the girl to the Hospital Wing, the staircase incident forgotten.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Madam Pomphrey, I have a patient for you." James called, when he finally reached the Hospital Wing. It took him quite some time because his charms work isn't very good, and he had to stop every once in a while because his spell is diminishing.  
  
"Oh dear!" The nurse called, coming out of her office.  
  
Putting the mysterious girl in one of the beds, Madam Pomphrey checked her over. "Why . . . I've never seen her around here before!" The school nurse exclaimed, "Technically I would know every student and staff here in Hogwarts!"  
  
James looked at the medical nurse in question. If this girl isn't a student, then who is she? Why is she wearing Hogwarts' uniform with a Prefect badge? Questions filled James mind as the nurse treated the girl's hand.  
  
"Thank goodness it's just a scratch." Said the medical veteran. "But she shouldn't be playing with glass though, it's not safe."  
  
After disposing the shards of glass from the red head's grasp, Madam Pomphrey spotted James in the corner.  
  
"James dear, don't you have a class to go to right now? Why are you still here? Shoo, shoo!" Madam Pomphrey called, gently pushing the dark haired boy out the doors. "You may visit the girl after class."  
  
With that, the entrance to the Hospital Wing was tightly shut. Giving it one last glance, James trotted back to his respective class.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
After dinner, James secretly went up the dormitories to grab his invisibility cloak. He didn't tell the rest of the Marauders where he's going . . . after all, he wanted to uncover this mystery by himself. He'll talk with the girl, but only if she's awake and she's alone.  
  
Creeping into the Hospital Wing once more silently, James approached the girl.  
  
The red head is definitely awake, but she was looking at the other patient that occupied the bed beside hers, her startling emerald green eyes unblinking. The similarity between her and Lily frightens him . . . will Lily become this beautiful one day?  
  
Looking over to where the girl was starring, James found himself watching the sleeping form of none other than Lily Evans. Her head was wrapped up in bandages as well as various places. It seems like she's gotten badly mistreated somehow.  
  
The unwanted feelings of guilt are sneaking its way up in James' mind again.  
  
"She's suffering . . . " The girl, shaking her head, whispered to herself.  
  
James heard the girl sigh before watching her turn her gaze back and starred right at him. Cold sweat broke out and James starred nervously back, looking into the depths of emerald green.  
  
"Where am I?" The red head asked, looking at James. The young Gryffindor went uneasy. Is she talking to him or herself? Can she actually see through his invisibility cloak? Breaking his ponderings, James realized that the girl had gone into a daze, either that or really deep in thought.  
  
Just then. Madam Pomphrey came out of her office and noticed that the girl has awakened.  
  
"Oh! You're awake! How do you feel?"  
  
"Just fine, thank you. By the way, may I ask what happened to this poor girl?"  
  
"The poor thing fell down the staircase . . ." That sounds familiar . . . James thought. Wait, didn't he hear a group of people bullying someone by the staircase? Damn. Now he feels even worse.  
  
"Make sure you don't bother her when she wakes up. She's suffered quite a damage to the head . . . she won't be able to see or think properly." Seeing the strange prefect nod, Madam Pomphrey left the room once more.  
  
James, now feeling worse than before, ponders whether or not he should leave now. Before the dark haired youth decided on what to do, however, Lily stirred and woke up. The flower sat up in her bed and stared straight ahead, her face still devoid of any trace of emotions. Quite unnerving, James thought. The other girl, however, stepped out of her bed and sat beside Lily.  
  
"You're awake! How are you feeling?"  
  
" . . ."  
  
"Is there something bothering you, sweetie?" The girl asked, her face full of genuine concern.  
  
Lily turned and looked at the mysterious teen, her eyes blank.  
  
"You can tell me, I wouldn't tell anyone, I swear! I can lend you an ear."  
  
"You don't have to pretend to be nice to me. I don't care."  
  
"What happened?" It wasn't a question this time. It's a demand.  
  
" . . ."  
  
"Well?"  
  
" . . . Why do you care so much?"  
  
"Because you're suffering. Now tell me what's wrong."  
  
" . . ."  
  
"It's okay, let it out."  
  
" . . My parents were killed. I'm number one on the school's bullying list. I trust no one. I love no one. Is that what you wanted to hear me say?" For the first time in months, a flicker of emotion could be heard in Lily's voice. She turned her head and looked directly at the older girl.  
  
"My sister hates me. I have no home, no family, and no friends to turn to. If I die, it's to do the world a favour. No one cares so why are you now?" Annoyance and frustration filled Lily's voice and James winced at the words she spoke.  
  
Suddenly, a pair of arms went around the flower.  
  
Hugging the poor red head tight, the mysterious lass whispered to Lily's ears. "Let your tears out. A clean cry will help you feel so much better. If you don't, this depression will eat you alive from the inside! Don't do this to yourself; it's not worth it. You're losing your sparkle, a smile that some stranger just might fall for!"  
  
"Tears are signs of weakness. My enemies will only prey on me harder if they see me at a moment of weakness." Lily mumbled to herself, recalling Lucious' words.  
  
*SLAP*  
  
Holding her cheek in shock, Lily looked at the other red head.  
  
"It IS true that tears are signs of weakness, but there is a place and time for everything! You don't have to cry in front of anybody! You don't need to cry in a public place! You could've found a secret place to cry when you're alone! You have to learn WHEN and WHERE is a good time for you to let your feelings out!" The girl shouted angrily, but then softens.  
  
"Let it out, sweetie. And then smile to the world to show just how brave you really are."  
  
Rubbing her cheeks still, Lily looked down, emotions now flickering madly in her eyes. The older girl smiled and hugged the flower again, gently. "Let it out. It's just me here."  
  
Encouraged by such kindness, the red head began to feel the coldness inside of her shatter. Perhaps this is how human warmth feels like. Lucious never did such thing; her parents just tried to please her, never mind Petunia . . . Maybe this is what a caring person should really be like . . . oh how she craves to have someone like that . . .  
  
Then, a single tear rolled down Lily's face, followed by a sob.  
  
She doesn't know why . . . tears are coming down like Niagara Falls and she just can't stop them.  
  
"There, there. That's it; let it all out . . . now tell me what's bothering you." The other red head soothed her while patting on her back.  
  
Sniffing and weeping into the shoulder of the apparent prefect, Lily mumbled, her voice trembling.  
  
"I-I want the others to s-stop p-picking on me for no r-reason . . . *sob* . . . I-I want P-Petunia to l-like me a-and a-at least t-treat me like a f- family . . . I-I want ma and p-pa to be a-alive s-still . . . a-and I-I want the D-Dark L-Lord to d-die . . . *sob* . . ."  
  
Lily tightened her hold on the girl, "B-But most of a-all . . . I-I want s- someone t-to care . . . someone *sob* like T-Tom . . ."  
  
Lily continued weeping and the other red head just continued patting her back.  
  
'Tom . . . I've heard of that name somewhere before . . .' The red head thought.  
  
James, feeling guilt and sorrow beyond his imagination, felt that this is a good time for him to depart. Lily wouldn't want to catch him watching her 'moment of weakness', as she puts it.  
  
Silently, he slipped out of the dark infirmary.  
  
The next morning, when Madam Pomphrey walked out of her office, she was greeted with the sight of two red heads holding each other, fast asleep. One with dry tears.  
  
The old nurse smiled. It's about time the poor girl released her feelings.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"So Jamsie, where were you last night?" Sirius asked casually, gulping down a cake roll.  
  
"Like I said, in the library." James answered equally as casual while, chewing his scrambled eggs.  
  
"Yuck. Don't talk while you're eating, especially while eating eggs. It's not a pleasant sight for one sitting in front of you, you know." Remus made a face at James but he ignored the young werewolf.  
  
"But James, we went to the library and didn't see you there." Peter said, looking at the addressed boy questionably.  
  
"Well, I uh . . ."  
  
"Let me guess. You only said that to get rid of us. I'm hurt." Sirius declared, looking away from the boy sitting next to him.  
  
"I'm sorry you guys, but there's something that I just had to take care of."  
  
"Say you're sorry." The pouting boy said.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Say you'll never do anything of the sort ever again . . . at least not that obviously."  
  
"umm. . . " Remus looked at Sirius like he's crazy. James grinned.  
  
"I'm sorry, next time I'll make it less obvious."  
  
Sirius turned back to the group, "That's my boy! Alright, you're forgiven."  
  
Remus sighed and Peter laughed.  
  
"So tell us, James, what exactly were you doing last night?" The petite blonde asked.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Miss . . . the headmaster would like to see you." Professor McGonagall said, gesturing for the girl to follow her to Dumbledore's office the next day.  
  
"Okay." When the red head got up, she felt her robes being tugged. She turned to see Lily holding onto her.  
  
"You'll be back, won't you?" The small flower asked hesitantly, "You don't have to if you don't want to though . . ."  
  
The girl smiled reassuringly, "I will."  
  
Without another word, the girl followed the strict teacher out of the Hospital Wing.  
  
Stepping into the glamorous room, the mystifying prefect looked on in awe. Professor McGonagall left a while ago and the headmaster still hasn't shown up. She gasp softly as she spotted Fawkes, the phoenix owned by Dumbledore.  
  
She walked over silently and watched the red bird, and it stared at her back, flapping its wings.  
  
"Beautiful, isn't it? Phoenixes truly are wonderful creatures." Said a voice from above the staircase.  
  
She looked up and saw an elderly man with long white beard and a kind expression. He seems spirited with sparkles, she thought as Dumbledore sat down in his seat.  
  
"So, what has brought you to Hogwarts?" The headmaster inquired.  
  
"Umm . . . I don't really know."  
  
"Well, let's start easy then. What is your name?"  
  
"I'm . . ." A look of dismay suddenly appeared on her face, "I-I don't know . . ."  
  
The headmaster gave the shaken girl a look of sympathy, "Well, the situation stands thus. Why don't we call you Rose for now. Since you wears our Prefect badge, why don't you resume the position as well? Madam Pomphrey, the school nurse, reported that you were apparently holding shards of glass from an unusual time turner. It is hypothesized that you are either from the past or from the future. Before we can figure out exactly where and when you left, it is best that you stay here with us." The old professor smiled and winked. "And I'm sure a certain other student of ours would appreciate your presence."  
  
Rose returned his smile weakly and uncertainly. "Thank you, professor."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Rose was just walking out of the office when the four marauders came running to her. She recognizes the one with dark hair and glasses, but not the other three. They seem to have spotted her and stopped.  
  
"Hello! Are you new to the school?" James asked brightly.  
  
" Umm . . . yes, that's right. My name is Rose and I'm a prefect."  
  
"Well my name is Sirius. This is James," Sirius said, nodding towards his best friend, "And this is Remus and Peter."  
  
"It's very nice meeting you all."  
  
"So your wound healed? Madam Pomphrey is such a good nurse, isn't she?" James mentioned the incident nervously. What if she doesn't know that he was the one who brought her to the infirmary? Fortunately Rose replied, much to his relief.  
  
"Oh yes. And thank you very much for bring me there yesterday." She smiled politely, and James reddened a little.  
  
The Marauders watched James in suspicion as he waved the red head when she left.  
  
*~*~*~*~* two hours later~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"You like her, don't you?" Peter asked the question the other two marauders have in their mind for a while.  
  
"NO~~~~~!!!!! Pete! How can you EVER think of such a thing???"  
  
"Well, there ARE hints . . ." Remus said, smiling evilly.  
  
"Oh yea! Like when you went all red while talking to her this afternoon . . ." Sirius added, also smiling at James.  
  
Going red again, the Gryffindor Seeker was going to protest when two red heads entered the Great Hall.  
  
It was Rose with a hesitant Lily behind her.  
  
"It's alright, I'll sit with you." Rose smiled gently down at Lily who didn't reply.  
  
By the time the two flowers had sat down by the Gryffindor Table, most of the school's populace has their eyes on them. Not only are they curious about the stranger, they're wondering why anyone would dare to go near the 'Loner Evans'.  
  
James on the other hand, was relieved a bit to see that emotions are now playing in Lily's eyes . . . she's no longer blank. That's a good sign.  
  
"Guys, you know what? I think we should stop harassing Lily." James turned to the rest of the Marauders.  
  
Sirius eyes widened, Remus looked at him in shock, and Peter seems confused.  
  
"W-Why?" Sirius stuttered.  
  
"You seem to hate her guts and now you're going to stop revenge? Did something happen?" Remus asked, hiding his joy.  
  
"I thought you hate her, James." The small blond boy questioned.  
  
When the young Gryffindor was about to answer, Dumbledore stood up to announce the arrival of Rose.  
  
"Attention everyone. As you may have noticed, (Who hasn't? Sirius thought) that a new student has entered our ranks. Her name is Rose and she will be a sixth year Gryffindor Prefect. Please welcome her and make her feel at home."  
  
Rose stood up and smiled at the student body that are now applauding. Many boys noticed how cute she is and tried to give her a seducing smile. She merely replied with a wink, nothing more.  
  
"Something came up. I'll tell you guys later." Was James' only reply.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
For the following weeks after Rose's first appearance, people has gotten used to her staying by Lily Evans' side. It appears that she is some sort of pillar of support for the young red head. What's more astonishing though, is that the Marauders had stopped harassing the poor Lily.  
  
They even apologized for being the prats they are.  
  
Of course, the small flower was very nervous at first, but with the reassurance from the older red head, she was able to accept their request for forgiveness. Of course, the Marauders got a not-so-empty death threat from Rose that if they should do something even close to pranking the little girl, she will personally beat them up so bad they won't be able to walk properly for the next three months.  
  
She proved herself by cursing Lucious who was watching the Marauders apologizing and laughing at them.  
  
Now Rose on the other hand, is one who zoned out often for whatever strange reason. She would be walking with Lily at one point and then suddenly stop and look deep in thought, or when she is in Potions with her fellow six years and then zone out, which causes havoc in the small dungeon.  
  
That's how she came to be known as the Pensive Girl. Whenever someone mentions the title, the others would immediately know whom they're talking about. However, something happened during the middle of May.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Lily, I know this will be hard for you," Dumbledore began as he looked at Lily in the eyes in his office. "But I'm afraid Rose will no longer be able to stay here in Hogwarts."  
  
"W-Why???" fear began to spread out in the petite red head's mind. "I-I don't want her to go yet! S-She's like a sister to me . . . if she leaves, I don't kn-"  
  
"I understand, Lily." The headmaster held up his hand.  
  
"Because of this, I am offering you to request anyone you would like to stay with you for a short while until you calm down."  
  
Thinking that she had no choice in the matter, Lily sighed sadly.  
  
". . . Then I'd like to see Tom. I want Tom to be here."  
  
"And may I ask who Tom is?"  
  
"My guardian Tom. Tom Riddle."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Nobody knew what happened, but a few days later, the Pensive Girl disappeared and was replaced by a guy. Everyone stayed away from him because he has this dark aura around him that made him seem really scary. A few boys missed the happy and friendly Rose.  
  
Lily and Tom like to hang out around the balcony outside the Astronomy Tower during free times, and so everyone avoided that place. And today was one such day.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Looking out the one small balcony of Hogwarts, Lily leaned against the railings contently watching the scenery with Tom beside her.  
  
"How do you feel, flower?" The older boy asked, voice full of warmth.  
  
"I feel a bit better now . . . " After that reply, the duo were once again left in silence.  
  
Goofing around, the Marauders ran up to the astronomy tower, laughing. Suddenly spotting Lily and a strange boy leaning by the balcony, they immediately silenced and hid behind the door to the balcony and peeked. Curiosity overcame them and they wanted to see what's up.  
  
"You know . . . " Lily began after what seems like forever, "You were the first person who ever cared for me, Tom. You were like the brother I never had."  
  
Young Riddle does not like where this conversation is going.  
  
"When we first met, you were very kind and gentle, and cared about how I feel."  
  
"It was my pleasure, Lily. You're a nice kid."  
  
Lily swallowed, feeling uneasy to continue after that remark. "But a-after what happened . . . after what happened, I-I really can't bear to see you anymore . . ."  
  
Tom looked at Lily pointedly, confusion shown on his pale complexion. The red head did nothing to look his way.  
  
"So I thought that maybe it would be best if we don't see each other anymore . . ."  
  
"Lily . . ."  
  
"I-I'm sorry! B-but it's very painful for me to see you now . . . every time I see you, everything that happened that night all come flooding back to me . . . these vivid images of those memories haunted my dreams, even when I am awake they taunt me like the former Marauders . . ." The three boys winced.  
  
"S-so I'm very regretful to say that I don't think I am capable of joining you . . . I-I just want to leave it all behind."  
  
The Marauders watched as Lily suddenly held the other boy tightly before heading towards them with eyes full of unshed tears. The one Lily called Tom was showing hatred beyond comparison on his face, however. James feared what he will do.  
  
"So that wench did do more damage than I would've thought . . . But I must say, my plans did backfired in some parts." Riddle said, facing the retreating back of the flower and at the same time, holding up his wand.  
  
Lily turned around in confusion, but before she could question Tom any further, a blinding flash of blue light surrounded her and she knew no more.  
  
Lily fell to the ground in a heap as the Marauders watched in horror. Tom lowered his wand, walked over and knelt next to the fallen girl and smirked evilly, his blood red eyes dulling. He whispered to the unconscious red head, but just loud enough for the hidden three to hear.  
  
"I've made you forget everything before . . . and I can do it again. Don't worry, dear flower . . . these "horrid" memories won't ever haunt your dreams again . . ."  
  
Realization was downed to the three Marauders. As Tom carried Lily back down the Astronomy tower, the three boys immediately hid themselves in the shadows, their breathing shallow, heart full of nervousness. The evil dark- lord-to-be only paused for a moment to see if anyone's around before grinning evilly once more and walked down the steps of the tower.  
  
The usually happy and brave third years released their breath as they watched the retreating steps of Tom Riddle. Different thoughts filled each of their minds.  
  
'I've seen that blue light before . . . right after mama and papa were killed . . . then does that mean Lily never knew what happened? Was this Riddle guy the one who killed my parents instead?'  
  
'Lily has forgotten everything before . . . so she never remembered who I was . . . of course she wouldn't remember!' Remus thought sadly. 'But there WERE hints that she was remembering . . . otherwise how would she know that I am a werewolf?'  
  
'Oh my God . . . everything suddenly seemed even more complicated!' Sirius smacked himself on the head.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Madam Pomphrey . . .?" Tom called tentatively once he entered the infirmary, and the school nurse immediately walked out of her office.  
  
"Oh dear! What happened to her this time?" Without hearing an answer, the medical maid instantly escorted Lily to a bed and tucked her in.  
  
"I believe she's in shock, Madam Pomphrey." Riddle said respectably, "She's merely unconscious."  
  
Nodding, the addressed nurse said, "Alright, just let her sleep until she wakes then. You may wish to stay with her, Riddle. I trust you won't do anything to her." Madam Pomphrey smiled at Tom before disappearing once more into her bureau.  
  
After two hours, Lily's eyelids finally slowly lifted. However, the blank look returned to her eyes and no trace of emotions was visible once again.  
  
"Lily, would you like to come with me? To get away from all this pain, to find relief in your miserable life? No one cares for you now except me." Tom asked softly beside the flower.  
  
" . . . you're right, Tom. I don't really care anymore." Lily said blankly, her eyes not quite focused on the person she's speaking with and her voice devoid of emotion.  
  
"I'll join you."  
  
Tom Riddle smirked.  
  
Tbc . . .  
  
A/N: So what did you think of this chapter? Personally I didn't really like it because it was too rushed, but I'm trying to reach my deadline, so I'm just typing frantically without thinking it over afterwards. After all, this fanfic is only an outline for the comics I'm drawing anyway.  
  
Well, I hope it's getting interesting. I'm really fascinated by werewolves lately (not because of HP) so I did some research, and I found some really interesting stuff I can insert in my future chaps so wait for it!  
  
And lastly, please R&R! Thankies~* 


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